tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63507652024-03-13T08:30:40.950-07:00TwentySummat and Faking It ParenthoodStill not a grown up, but havin' to fake being one with a mini-me here.<br>
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On the Agenda: The Joy of seeing a dirty diaper.Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comBlogger326125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-33225433347029752752007-07-17T10:24:00.000-07:002007-07-17T10:33:23.465-07:00Furniture!This weekend we got our kitchen table and chairs, couch and loveseat, and mattress set. So now we're finally feeling like it's more of a house. We'll get our bedroom set mid-August and can't wait for that, since we have no furniture in the bedroom and clothes and things are just piled on the floor in baskets. <br /><br />We'd like to get some more bookshelves and similar types of things to organize the house a bit, but we're running out of house-money and would like to keep some in savings, so for now the house will be unorganized. Plus, just found out the car needs new brakes and rotors and that will cost $450, gee great. We tried to trade it for a used Camry which is bigger and more reliable, but the people were crazy with their offer, so we just walked away. Right now we're "renting" my dad's Kia as a second car, paying that monthly payment, until we can figure out how on earth to afford a second car. The second car needs to be bigger than our Elantra to comfortably fit two carseats safely, fit a double stroller with groceries, etc, yet still be economical on gas... which isn't something you can find in an affordable car. Yikes! Not sure how we'll do it but we need to soon...<br /><br />There are also the other household items that we'll need to get that we didn't necessarily need with our small apartment. More towels, washcloths, some kitchen items, a new vacuum, air purifier for my allergies, lawnmower, weedeater, etc. We're crossing fingers that maybe some people will see it as a time to get a housewarming gift so we won't have to wait much later for some things... but I'm not really expecting that. <br /><br />Oh and grass, someday we'll need to plant some grass seed which is the cheapest way to go, and the best time to do it is now... but I have a feeling that won't get done until next summer maybe. I do feel a little bad that Toby won't have a nice grassy yard yet, but he does have a nice big house!<br /><br />Speaking of Toby, his favorite new thing to do is either growl like a dinosaur (or like his daddy imitating a dinosaur) and stomp (Toby does this by just lifting one leg really high when walking), play in the kitchen cabinet, or sitting at our new table and pretending to laugh within a conversation he's having with invisible people. Very cute, and can all be seen at <a href="http://www.dropshots.com/adspencer">www.dropshots.com/adspencer</a>. Enjoy!Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-71059823126900779582007-07-08T14:08:00.000-07:002008-12-08T18:32:08.597-08:00Helloooooooooo.<br /><div></div><br /><div>Well we've done it - bought a house! With baby #2 on the way we had a little extra motivation and of course that worked. Now we're in our OWN home, just the three (and incubating 4) of us, probably 3-4 miles from my parents' home (and their swimming pool, ahhhh). </div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div></div><br /><div>We closed last Friday and over the past week have moved in little by little. Our first night spent in the house, July 4, was our own independence day. Toby was with Aunt Kathy that night so Thurs night was his first night and he only threw a little fit when we tried to get him to sleep in his new room. Actually, he has two new rooms. A "big boy" room for when baby comes and hopefully we can move him into either his new toddler bed, or a borrowed crib from our friends; and the nursery, which is where he sleeps now, with the crib and changing table in there. He also has a playroom which is also the office, and 4th bedroom for his grandma when she comes over to play. </div><br /><br /><div></div><div>Unpacking has been interesting, since we hardly have any furniture. From our Virginia apartment survived a bookcase, desk and tv stand. Toby's rooms have furniture, the big boy room is fully furnished by DH finding a clearance sale at KMart - such a clearance that everything together - dresser, side table, toddler bed, and two toy chest/bins cost under $100 total. The toddler bed itself was $7 (which is why we got it now instead of later). We ordered furniture from Ashley furniture in town and in a week we should get the delivery of the kitchen table and chairs, couch and loveseat, and our king bed mattress and box spring... however the bedroom set we ordered won't arrive until August 18. So right now we're sleeping on an air mattress, and once the mattress comes we'll sleep on that on the floor which should be more comfortable than the air mattress. We also bought 4 lawn/patio chairs which we are using right now as our furniture, and two side tables for the living room from craigslist (but they look new and will go nicely with everything. So basically most of our unpacking, except for the kitchen and bathrooms, has been sorting into boxes - for the attic, for unpacking later once we have furniture, and what little stuff we can unpack now. We've finally finished that, and now DH is going to take all the cardboard and newspaper we used for packing to the recycling center, and I think that's it, other than a good vacuum over the floors. </div></div><br /><br /><div>Most of our stuff has been in storage for almost 2 years, since we moved down from VA, and some of it didn't survive thanks to mold. So we threw out our toaster and sandwich grill, among a few other things. Nothing too important and have since replaced the toaster. We've also realized that we need a lot more things for a house than we had for our one-bedroom apartment!</div><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4HieCTZYN3RtbZQkxsMS6v39X5IO9vJgGf11HEAzKfvVv-ceLZ3aQexgFnPYVuy-wKPcehX6nzLPyAOZOCDnhP4tZoTiA7ZkcwzFvFLlhqMrVVlxEc74ofXU9WDY-5lXQPJP2/s1600-h/new+house+004.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5084940520650704930" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4HieCTZYN3RtbZQkxsMS6v39X5IO9vJgGf11HEAzKfvVv-ceLZ3aQexgFnPYVuy-wKPcehX6nzLPyAOZOCDnhP4tZoTiA7ZkcwzFvFLlhqMrVVlxEc74ofXU9WDY-5lXQPJP2/s320/new+house+004.jpg" border="0" /></a>Toby has enjoyed the new house, and our unpacking mess/frenzy. He has "helped" by moving things from box to box, room to room, and rearranging what we've managed to unpack. He also loves running from room to room chatting about everything (in his own language). </div><br /><br /><div>Here are the pictures of our progress so far... </div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikBqF-LYDN7nmKmUWFUaPcLf8p4AfVrlgCGvq5Flya04fAOvVNF39TRQ93J2Jd7677OyVzXMvWvrrcajRTOjNyaslzGRc94zT9LbIwjd-eJp-6-YxWQewfbaNCOnnNeS1CYJ32/s1600-h/new+house+008.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5084951885134170434" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikBqF-LYDN7nmKmUWFUaPcLf8p4AfVrlgCGvq5Flya04fAOvVNF39TRQ93J2Jd7677OyVzXMvWvrrcajRTOjNyaslzGRc94zT9LbIwjd-eJp-6-YxWQewfbaNCOnnNeS1CYJ32/s320/new+house+008.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div><br />By the way, more molars and canines have come in, look at the set of munchers he's got now! </div><div><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCOhaOAr74KuBTRRSfE8NYi0ndWdoGJIIP6DGzrmqTqQETbhBs4BJ365OwLPbPObDxaZsDyjyiQkwq6U_j6QVqjw_1dBXCjQELCD7XpsXEFYkSAexiNCRxvYm7NmAA3rXXChcI/s1600-h/new+house+010.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5084946447705573570" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCOhaOAr74KuBTRRSfE8NYi0ndWdoGJIIP6DGzrmqTqQETbhBs4BJ365OwLPbPObDxaZsDyjyiQkwq6U_j6QVqjw_1dBXCjQELCD7XpsXEFYkSAexiNCRxvYm7NmAA3rXXChcI/s320/new+house+010.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Unpacking and Sorting in the living room. Lots of things to go through.<br /><br /><br /><br /></div><br /><br /><div><br /></div><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfv93LAbsdGHcLO5f3rVrOy_T1mrmCBXP7L-5bmYwbtwssTc6O-D4XLZ9TLwQ1tDEk1YA6uTu2shGOLMeTn5403s7KemtNr5vHf3steI52MWWREf4XWS_QYqYsb_1Gslk1GEF9/s1600-h/new+house+011.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5084943149170690146" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfv93LAbsdGHcLO5f3rVrOy_T1mrmCBXP7L-5bmYwbtwssTc6O-D4XLZ9TLwQ1tDEk1YA6uTu2shGOLMeTn5403s7KemtNr5vHf3steI52MWWREf4XWS_QYqYsb_1Gslk1GEF9/s320/new+house+011.jpg" border="0" /></a>Helping mummy and daddy.<br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz7fmXOhXmzyULHPZW6GSP4l3_anPcOOAf1ay9KWiBuBKI3furnjBqsQCTpiUzpQY7xe_fAZb2Fk56OmIO3kzDdwtpTb_th713_TSrVmcQOPbeLax0pQOBefy9fQVFAFscLNEH/s1600-h/new+house+015.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5084943578667419762" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz7fmXOhXmzyULHPZW6GSP4l3_anPcOOAf1ay9KWiBuBKI3furnjBqsQCTpiUzpQY7xe_fAZb2Fk56OmIO3kzDdwtpTb_th713_TSrVmcQOPbeLax0pQOBefy9fQVFAFscLNEH/s320/new+house+015.jpg" border="0" /></a>More helping, also very tired but not yet wanting to nap.<br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ3ADUQv8BK6sJ3L4wZFD-HoPpCN8WkhY1sbuZVNBSO9NOomOspeLaGJTV1lYxVdLmpC5dPAJGqtOv5HPATsjZXQ0KFlRIWNXO_wRXRvGHXH9mcDaJV759inPstuAEuuUao1NX/s1600-h/new+house+016.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5084943943739639938" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ3ADUQv8BK6sJ3L4wZFD-HoPpCN8WkhY1sbuZVNBSO9NOomOspeLaGJTV1lYxVdLmpC5dPAJGqtOv5HPATsjZXQ0KFlRIWNXO_wRXRvGHXH9mcDaJV759inPstuAEuuUao1NX/s320/new+house+016.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><br /><br /><div><br /></div><br /><br /><div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> </div><div><br /></div><br /><br /><div>The clean and unpacked Kitchen!<br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQO34rWl1akwiRokxTLFgwWNwqQ1URQl-CG3k-e2vwLVAlJ0zKVJbXdNrp0Ag__8Xmxyn_EUjKgip43LlPbrLj7tF8gl0jYT85uH22U0K7knAiAyx801VI7AIA64p7wZbVOgIj/s1600-h/new+house+017.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5084944742603557010" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQO34rWl1akwiRokxTLFgwWNwqQ1URQl-CG3k-e2vwLVAlJ0zKVJbXdNrp0Ag__8Xmxyn_EUjKgip43LlPbrLj7tF8gl0jYT85uH22U0K7knAiAyx801VI7AIA64p7wZbVOgIj/s320/new+house+017.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><div><br /> </div><div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div><div>Well, sort of clean. The boxes and recycling.<br /></div><div><br /></div><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuuPk6bLCi60QRE4ILDC02RcdOdwsfdPcuUi65fgYkMRlTOotBgPv8ANeFA7GzAMX0f14X09H0oUwNKGI3rbc5JE6w9YklxrkvZlrINTmaveD_CXE8lYRTtHdpIU-bhByhSgMf/s1600-h/new+house+019.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5084945026071398562" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuuPk6bLCi60QRE4ILDC02RcdOdwsfdPcuUi65fgYkMRlTOotBgPv8ANeFA7GzAMX0f14X09H0oUwNKGI3rbc5JE6w9YklxrkvZlrINTmaveD_CXE8lYRTtHdpIU-bhByhSgMf/s320/new+house+019.jpg" border="0" /></a>Big Boy room! </div><div><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bxzEqRhU0IxooINq8axbS_ODPw7SKsfOLaqwXZScKREwrUskEZttzHiZ3knRmeDdno-LxHD9UZgS0n-BkFQKcIzFUjzxxUZIS8tZFZfqGagCnwBRsYl8JKDYyRmWVyKZ-P4U/s1600-h/new+house+020.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5084947401188313298" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bxzEqRhU0IxooINq8axbS_ODPw7SKsfOLaqwXZScKREwrUskEZttzHiZ3knRmeDdno-LxHD9UZgS0n-BkFQKcIzFUjzxxUZIS8tZFZfqGagCnwBRsYl8JKDYyRmWVyKZ-P4U/s320/new+house+020.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div><br /><br /><div><br /></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvZJ1vNyYYfwS0m9fZgDONLBFUks9Hbmu55wmMirA01spnudfPJ2_Nzl-qjKvRiLkyhDRV2v0Flphx7jiVNFTuA0MdUwEEoRTdgHKPtz0nYVfk4vL5eRiFo26n7QTDVVJyGGHj/s1600-h/new+house+021.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5084947710425958626" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvZJ1vNyYYfwS0m9fZgDONLBFUks9Hbmu55wmMirA01spnudfPJ2_Nzl-qjKvRiLkyhDRV2v0Flphx7jiVNFTuA0MdUwEEoRTdgHKPtz0nYVfk4vL5eRiFo26n7QTDVVJyGGHj/s320/new+house+021.jpg" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdNwpue6N44bObTXvFkShGYQyHP0WWClsIgDG3YDUmm-tsjJzZvlDpICjtjB1vzPakjicx5ty1icNQIqXg3A3yxDhQsoLIOgsGuaGphNAgHsfv2mmY1QO6Bz-zQA1M3WANE6JP/s1600-h/new+house+022.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5084948049728375026" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdNwpue6N44bObTXvFkShGYQyHP0WWClsIgDG3YDUmm-tsjJzZvlDpICjtjB1vzPakjicx5ty1icNQIqXg3A3yxDhQsoLIOgsGuaGphNAgHsfv2mmY1QO6Bz-zQA1M3WANE6JP/s320/new+house+022.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><br /><br /><div><br /></div><br /><br /><div><br /><br /></div><br /><br /><div><br /></div><div></div><div> </div><div><br /></div><br /><br /><div>New washer and dryer... except when on the pedastools they're too tall by 1/4 inch. Have to get a carpenter to either raise the cabinets or cut 1/4 inch off to have them underneath like they should be. Still, they're hooked up and we're using them!<br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqPpIN0QBOHTEx6C5cWydWpM-a7xYRX4uLVZ8svCdCzYH1Iyth1FPvN-Hrhm9cH2VRrGQ5z-OcB05HdYmovMDYDhO6pjx0fkwb7VuxXOcb374ecbxBWSIk19WRVls365FwA5BF/s1600-h/new+house+023.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5084948543649614082" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqPpIN0QBOHTEx6C5cWydWpM-a7xYRX4uLVZ8svCdCzYH1Iyth1FPvN-Hrhm9cH2VRrGQ5z-OcB05HdYmovMDYDhO6pjx0fkwb7VuxXOcb374ecbxBWSIk19WRVls365FwA5BF/s320/new+house+023.jpg" border="0" /></a> Extra bathroom, the duck bathroom! The people before us had it also as a duck bathroom and left the duck decals up on the shower and toilet. The rest of the ducks are ours (should I not tell anyone most of our duck bathroom stuff was before we thought about having kids?). Need a curtain rod to hang shower curtain... and maybe some extra towels and handtowels. </div><div></div><br /><br /><div><br /></div><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYIOIv8dSXAnMrasV_Nj_G_qx60yNFP2WVa2yR7cWpUTjGgu802OrVGssx0bQhMdBopEKa_sVun9gchIB0UflZqQh1IZWv-ce9euaM5VVueJiGQQ3611Cgm1lmOg7-kcJpcGz9/s1600-h/new+house+024.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5084949252319217938" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYIOIv8dSXAnMrasV_Nj_G_qx60yNFP2WVa2yR7cWpUTjGgu802OrVGssx0bQhMdBopEKa_sVun9gchIB0UflZqQh1IZWv-ce9euaM5VVueJiGQQ3611Cgm1lmOg7-kcJpcGz9/s320/new+house+024.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /></div><div>Master bedroom... our air bed and tv tray side tables for the moment. I did take a picture of the other side of the room but... you don't need to see a bunch of clothes and things lying on the floor that have no place to go until August 18!<br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8_k1sNfw0bADpOiboVhwD6mgnCMuNiJfkiNe9jC1fcP8tLmuWcmZvPwk8jrqX4_9d_W9UxyW393Mlc8qompPNei3qQgIgJtxQX8Z4sxp1_0ji1-NHv8vG5FJ0O_GHaHSCL2uC/s1600-h/new+house+026.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5084949737650522402" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8_k1sNfw0bADpOiboVhwD6mgnCMuNiJfkiNe9jC1fcP8tLmuWcmZvPwk8jrqX4_9d_W9UxyW393Mlc8qompPNei3qQgIgJtxQX8Z4sxp1_0ji1-NHv8vG5FJ0O_GHaHSCL2uC/s320/new+house+026.jpg" border="0" /></a> Our bathroom.. the drawers are on the bottom instead of on top of the cabinet doors, which makes things awkward, so we're looking for wire shelving or wire drawers to put inside the cabinets to put everything. Can't have me bending over to get things while pregnant and this dizzy, I won't make it back up!</div><br /><br /><div></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5bdaiBthk2-CSdRFnMAFUmPOck5ym3d_4_aCcn1jpv14Md-5yHdmOB6nBgFqlfxozplfdnbVSOKfIGwmdfLDfqU12MGT_h5G_zuw-5mVuRsPf6blCn-4DeKbkfol3GJ3R96gy/s1600-h/new+house+027.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5084950295996270898" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5bdaiBthk2-CSdRFnMAFUmPOck5ym3d_4_aCcn1jpv14Md-5yHdmOB6nBgFqlfxozplfdnbVSOKfIGwmdfLDfqU12MGT_h5G_zuw-5mVuRsPf6blCn-4DeKbkfol3GJ3R96gy/s320/new+house+027.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /></div><div>Playroom/4th bedroom/office. We're going to try to make it look more bedroom-y for grandma's stay - we want her to feel as comfortable as possible so that she'll want to visit more and more! </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>That's all the pictures for now. We still have to put grass seed down in the yard to grow some grass, and there are lots of extra things we need to get... but we're crossing fingers that maybe a few housewarming presents would help. If not, we'll just get things little by little and eventually it will be a real home! Well, it's a real home now, but you know what I mean. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>And as far as unpacking boxes that have been in storage for 2 years goes... DH just found an egg, the size of a marble, he cracked it and yes, it's an egg. What the heck kind of egg? I'm scared to know. Time to vacuum. More pictures and Toby videos at <a href="http://www.dropshots.com/adspencer">www.dropshots.com/adspencer</a>.</div><br /><div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-29192378090137773382007-03-16T05:56:00.000-07:002007-03-16T06:02:48.321-07:00Big stupid grinsThis morning was full of baby and toddler pictures. One of my mommy friends showed me some of her children sleeping and playing, and ex-little-boss who is in the cubicle over <--------- there showed me pictures of her brand new grandson, born a week ago today. So cute. I don't know if I ever went so ga-ga over pictures of people's children/grandchildren; but now, I just adore looking at these pictures, that remind me of my own son, and how special each child is to their loved ones. Then I get a big stupid grin on my face for most of the day. <br /><br />You know that grin, the goofy one that you forget is on your face but other people notice it and wonder what on earth are you smiling about? The one that, while you walk down the hall and do that "okay look down, look down... look down... okay look up, now look down... look down.." thing when you pass someone in the hallway and notice their frown... then all of a sudden you feel a little embarrassed that you're wearing this silly stupid grin for no reason when obviously this (work) is a place to frown and look serious and important. <br /><br />Yeah... that grin. <br /><br />Yay for Friday, this weekend I'm going on the church women's retreat and cannot wait. Pretty much all of the ladies are older than me.. actually older than me with their own children either my age or only a few years younger - but they adore me and probably feel good that this 'young'n hip mama chick (ahem, me) wants to spend her weekend and time with them. Plus, K is coming too! I'm so excited to be able to share her with my church ladies and vice versa... also a little nervous. I hope she sees what I see in these ladies and loves them too. I know they'll love her, no doubt about that. Have a good weekend!Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-22140689594015092142007-03-05T05:21:00.000-08:002007-03-05T05:26:28.972-08:00A Day in the life of ... Mummy!<p>Well, I've seen a friend do this before for her daughter's baby book and have wanted to do it but have been too shy to carry a big camera around with me all the time and take pictures of everything that might seem mundane. But now that I've figured out that I can send pics from my phone straight to my photobucket account, I thought it'd be neat to try this and see how it looks... so, here's yesterday for me, in really grainy and bad pictures (all from my camera phone). Wow now that I've posted, the pics really are bad, gives me a headache. Sorry! I think I'll do it again but have to face the "Yes, I'm a dork" facts by taking random pics of my camera at work and in public, it'd be cool to do some pages like this for Toby's baby book. Sort of a "day in the life of mummy when you were a baby" thing. DH started to do a day in the life of toby but only took pics halfway through. </p><p>Sorry that the pics aren't good quality, used my camera phone and I seem to either be in the office or in the car, neither are good places to take pictures... so it's boring too. Woohoo. Leave home at 5:55am, hubby and baby are still in bed...<br /></p><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172667545.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>Interstate through Baton Rouge to the office downtown, pass up the exits for LSU...<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172667272.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>Yay! I got here early enough to take one of the 6 spaces on the street near the front of the building where the city has yet to put parking meters. Yay for good free parking! This is the view from my car when I parked. I work in a state office building down the street from the state capitol building (shown in this pic):<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172667545-1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>My building, it's brand spankin' new. We moved from our old falling down one in August.<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172667544.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>Walking towards my building as I cross the street. My building, DSS is on the right, DHH is on the left (health and hospitals). Up the road is various office buildings and a church.<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172668067-1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>I go through the lobby, pass the police and security guards, swipe my badge to get through to the elevators and go up to the 7th floor where my cubicle is. This is the view getting off the elevator on the 7th floor. State Library is the smaller building closest, and you've seen a pic already of the capitol. Don't think you can see it in this pic but in person, you get to see all the smog and gross lookin' clouds of yuckiness over the oil refineries and other production plants north of Baton Rouge on the Mississippi River (you can see the river a little to the left if you peek).<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172668066.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>Cubicle Land!!! My unit's cubes are to the left, everyone else is to the right. The big open space is just weird, no other floors have it... that's a Mardi Gras tree that needs to be taken down over there. My cube is on the other side facing the window. That's my little boss's cube you can open there.<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172668067.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>And voila, my cubicle<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172667449.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>My desktop picture once I log in, I change it up every few days<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172667364.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>Mmmm coffee... the mug is.. interesting, I'm not a pink heart kinda girl, but I got two of those filled with candy or something as a gift once, and they're big, so I like them for tea or coffee. I didn't take pictures of the break room where I got the coffee, I'm a coffee club member where a bunch of us put money in a pot every payday to contribute to the pots, coffee and supplies.<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172667048.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>And breakfast. I'm not a big breakfast eater unless it's 11am and I'm having stuffed french toast at IHOP or something.<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172667168.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>Time to read my Getting in Touch with your Inner B calendar...<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172669226.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>The view from my window, that's the Mississippi River I-10 bridge going over connecting Baton Rouge and Plaquemines. But the fog is so thick you can't really see it.<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172671600.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>I didn't really have pictures of me working, but I can promise you I did! And right now I have tendonitis (tennis elbow), so here's what I get to type in, not easy but ow my arm hurts!!!<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172704526.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>11:15am Lunchtime! Time to grab my leftovers from one of the fridges in the break room down the hall.<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172697358-1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>Views from the balcony outside the break room on the 7th floor. First to the left is the Mississippi River once you look past our parking garage, to the right, just past the Dept of Revenue/Natural Resources building that the camera snapped the corner of, is our old office building that they're in the process of tearing down (they started on the side you can't see from this angle). Supposedly they will build a park there, and in the vacant parking lot where they won't allow anyone to park anymore.<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172697358.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172697359.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>3:30pm, time to go home! I managed to get a lot of work done, see my empty trays?<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172704525.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>I'm not taking the interstate home because I have a 4pm appointment with my therapist in south Baton Rouge. So I'm going to cut across downtown and pass LSU to get to her office. Here's the old state capitol before Huey P. Long decided he needed a weird looking taller one. Picture is wonky b/c I'm driving.<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172698572.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>And I enter through the LSU gates...<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172704713-1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>There's the stadium and natatorium.<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172704525-1.jpg" border="0" /></a> Oops, I better stop for gas! I can't believe how much gas is now! I swear it was just $2.02 two weeks ago!!<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172704713-2.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>4:10pm, aack, I'm running late, but finally, I'm turning into the drive to my therapist's office. She's in a fancy office building that I think used to be an old plantation. It looks awesome, but darn it, the pic I took of it somehow didn't make it from my phone to here. Same w/the therapist's couch pic. Sorry!<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172704713.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>5:05pm, finally, I'm on my way home!<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172706555.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>5:36pm, I'm home! Charlie the cat tells me that I'm late, while walking across my sister's car.<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172713233.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>Once inside, the dogs are there to greet me first. Buddy (black) and Schatzie (white, Toby calls her Dot-chee) our standard poodles that desperately need a trip to the groomer's!<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172714021-1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172714021-2.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>Toby just woke up from a late nap and Daddy picked him up to greet me<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172713390-1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>6pm - Dinnertime for Toby - Mmmm mac and cheese and peas and carrots and goldfish!<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172706555-2.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172706555-1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>Topped off with yummy water! (Toby LOVES water and will not drink juice, which is fine with me!)<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172706646.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>6:30pm - Now, bathtime for Tobester! He wants to eat the rubber duckies I think.<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172707455.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172713234-1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>Now it's dinner for Mummy and Daddy. After a long day like this, and an empty fridge, it's time for some chinese (mmm sesame chicken)<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172715899-1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>7:15pm - Time to catch up on last night's The Daily Show and Colbert Report with DH while Toby plays<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172714139-1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172714139.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172713391.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>7:30pm - Toby has a bottle.. I'm all finished Mummy!<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172713234.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>8pm - Toby gets the phone to call Grandma in England... no, no Toby, it's almost 2am over there!<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172714021.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>8:20pm - Toby looks tired as he sits down, enthralled with Stephen Colbert on the tv.<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172715898.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>8:30pm - I put Toby down for bed, and watch Tobyvision on the video monitor<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172715899-2.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172715899.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>9pm - I'm tired, time for me to call it a day and go to bed. Time for brushing my teeth, taking my contacts out and setting the alarm clock.<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172717293-1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172717293.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p>Goodnight!<br /><p><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/1172717294.jpg" border="0" /></a> </p>Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-61197662127879838342007-02-19T05:47:00.000-08:002007-02-19T05:55:06.219-08:00Why do intelligent men do DUMB things?I know that his loved ones read this sometimes, so I try not to bring it here... but I have to do today. I just HAVE to. I need to rant about my husband's SUPER IDIOTIC LAME-BRAINED DUMBASS thing he did<br /><br />- He's off work today, so last night he said he was going to have a drink, I reminded him that he was going to be getting up with Toby AND he had errands to do today, lots of them, including taking Toby to the doctor b/c the poor baby is sick with a chest cold or something awful, lots of coughing, chest congestion, crying but in a very strained voice<br /><br />- He said he would be all right and he'd only have a couple of beers... so I went to bed at 9pm since I get up at 5am for work...<br /><br />- What time did he come to bed reeking, just REEKING of whiskey? 4am<br /><br />- That's right FOUR AM, I said, "How will you survive on 2 hours of sleep?" "Two hours?" "Um yeah, Toby gets up at 6".."I'll survive" and he turns over snoring loudly<br /><br />- So I'm freaking here at work, scared that he won't wake up when Toby cries (whose voice is already strained), AND super PISSED at him for doing such a STUPID FRICKIN' FRACKIN' IDIOTIC DUMBASSED THING<br /><br />- And he has to drive Toby to the dr, so he can't still be drunk...<br /><br />Can I kill him? Can I JUST KILL him?!?!? URGH!<br /><br />Why? Why do men do that? They can go months being intelligent, logical, rational beings, very loving and caring, winning the Dearest Husband award... and in just a matter of hours can fall down to dumbest human on earth... why do they do that? How do they do that? Is it a glitch in the Y chromosome? We need to figure that out and fix it, folks. Because it's making us wives and mothers go bald. And we're not that pretty bald. So for the sake of this earth being filled with pretty women, we need to fix the glitchy Y chromosome.<br /><br />Toby, by the way is still the cutest, happiest baby out there - even while being fussy (fussy for him at least) and running fever, sore throat, hurting ears, and a cough that breaks his mother's heart. I wanted to stay home today with him, but I can't use any of my leave from work so that I can go to the UK for two weeks. So I have to depend on my husband, the <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fuckwit">FW</a> acting that he is at the moment. Which doesn't make Mummy happy. At. All.<br /><br />Anyway, hopefully by the time I'm home from work, things will be okay again... they better be! Check Toby's blog for new pics.Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-7814332435121218662007-02-12T07:03:00.001-08:002007-01-18T10:22:43.744-08:00Just a quickie...Having a baby does all kinds of rude things to your body. You'd think it's evolution's way of creating a kangaroo pouch for humans. Maybe in a few generations it'll be there...with side and back pockets too. And straws. Don't ask.Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-18850882289638540532007-01-18T09:46:00.000-08:002007-01-18T10:04:35.735-08:00*Tap Tap Tap*Is this thing on?<br /><br />I don't know how long it will last, but here's another attempt at starting this thing up again. So let's get out our Swiffers and dust the blog off and place your bets at when I'll abandon it again. Leaving my lovely fans (re: no one) disappointed once more. <br /><br />I have a good excuse though: I'm a mommy now. Mommies don't have time to think for themselves, remember to check for toilet paper before sitting down in the bathroom, or even to use said facility in peace, so I just haven't had the time or energy to write here. There are still updates... that I need to UPdate again, at <a href="http://tobiaspeter.blogspot.com">my son Toby's blog</a> but it really doesn't say anything on what I've been doing. Not that I actually have been doing anything at all, but in case one ever wanted to pretend that Mommies were normal people too... you might believe I've had a secret life going on that you've missed out on because *sniffle*, I haven't posted here. <br /><br />Speaking of mommies, and I probably will bore you on the subject of parenthood, I've become quite the mommy cyber nerd. Did you know they have online playgroups? Basically a place for moms of the kids born in the same month of the same year to post to each other about how tired they are, what IS that rash on my kid's bum, and have you SEEN the clearance deals at Target?!? It's tres exciting, really. That's where I met one of my now closest friends, K. K lives in Mississippi just over two hours from here, and DH and I have gone over a few weekends to relax and hang out at her house. My DH gets along well with her DH... in fact they're like little schoolboys hanging with their best friends, it's cute... and we have sons the same age who teach each other how to get into even more trouble. <br /><br />It's great, hanging out at another new parent's house. You don't have to worry about appearances, or even feel dorky that the new exciting thing to do in your life is take a trip down Target's clearance aisles (seriously, and it IS that much fun!). Oh how I heart Target. <br /><br />Anyway, I can hang at K's house in pajamas all day, no bra, hair in a ponytail and let my son terrorize her living room with her son, both either in pajamas themselves or just in a diaper as they take apart the remote control and pull speaker wires out of the wall. We'll throw a sippy of juice and graham cracker in there for them to fight over with the dogs, and everyone is happy. Good times.<br /><br />This last visit though, left me rough. K got me drunk, and not just drunk, but frunk (effin' drunk). It didn't take much, two glasses of wine... but let me tell you about wine and two redneck moms dying for a good night of company thinking they'll have some class...<br /><br />We went to this fancy "wine and spirits" store. You know it's fancy because they sell "spirits", not "liquor" and certainly no beer (have to stop at the gas station to get the guys' booze on the way home). We browsed the aisles of wine on these cute wooden racks with their corresponding home country's flags sitting above, and landed in the Italy section staring at what seemed to be a decent bottle of red wine. For $6.00! K says, "I've heard of this, they say it's good but fruity."<br />Not to be outdone, I pipe up with "Oh I like fruity! Let's try it!"<br /><br />Le Sigh. First mistake, not realizing the screwtop, or that hellloooooo it's SIX bucks! Second mistake, not recognizing the name as one of the trashiest white trash drinkin' wine out there.. even in my husband's country! When it's an international sign of trashiness, you know it has to be good. Or... infamous. Let's just stick to infamous. The bottle was Lambruzco Riunite.<br /><br />Yes. You read that right. Lambruzco. Lambruzco!<br /><br />It tasted like a mixture of Nyquil and Welch's grape fizzy drink. Honestly. And that's a quite generous description. But we paid $6.00 and with laughing men at home, we drank the entire bottle pretending it wasn't so bad, just to avoid the embarrassment. <br /><br />Two days later and K is still hungover and feeling sick. Three days later I spend the entire day in bed. I don't know if had any connection to the classy wine, but I'm going to go out on a limb and blame the wine. <br /><br />Next time it will be premixed mudslides, something we can't mess up and know is good. If there ever is a next time. I bet the next weekend we spend together we'll stick with our Starbucks while walking the clearance aisles at Target.Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-1160144396493508022006-10-06T07:18:00.000-07:002006-10-06T07:19:56.513-07:00Continuing our fightA letter to the Editor in University of California at San Diego's The Guardian from the husband of one of our alumnae sisters -<br /><a href="http://tinyurl.com/p48qw">http://tinyurl.com/p48qw</a><br /><br />Women’s Colleges Serve Valuable Purpose<br /><br />Dear Editor,<br /><br />As the husband of a Randolph-Macon Woman’s College (R-MWC) alumna and a once-frequent visitor to women’s colleges, I feel obliged to set the record straight and question Ms. Naraghi’s conclusions in “Casting a Wider Net” (Oct. 2) that going coed is about simple economics and her implication that women at a single-sex school are disadvantaged in the real world.<br /><br />Women’s schools are neither “finishing schools” nor elitist Stepford-Wife cloisters, Hollywood’s stereotyped misconceptions a la “Mona Lisa Smile” notwithstanding. Women-only classrooms are best suited to the unique learning styles of women — often incompatible with male-oriented teaching ­­— without the distractions of male dominance issues or sexual tension. Women who are educated without men in the classroom are arguably better prepared to compete in the real world than female coed graduates who have been socialized to accept inequality in male-dominated classrooms run by majority-male faculties (women’s colleges are much more likely to have a near-50-50 male-female faculty ratio). A recent national survey of student engagement found that women who graduate from women’s colleges are on average more successful, happier and more satisfied with their education than their coed-graduate peers.<br /><br />The decision to go coed is not just about economics, and the economics do not add up. R-MWC’s endowment eclipses its peers. It has experienced steadily growing enrollment (only in the late 1960s did it see higher enrollment numbers). Its main attraction to prospective students is its academic excellence, and while few enroll just because of its single-sex nature, nearly all who graduate credit the all-women status for the college’s academic strengths.<br /><br />Unfortunately, the R-MWC trustees have for years ignored criticisms of the college’s poor admissions outreach efforts and the root causes of its poor retention (such as draconian “big sister” social policies, poor administration engagement with students, slashed budgets for on-campus social events and cuts to popular academic programs). The trustees’ decision was based upon a questionable “study” they commissioned, whose pro-coed conclusion erroneously assumed continued economic support by alumnae, continued low interest in single-sex colleges, unabated competition by other women’s colleges and static admissions and retention problems, and postulated that the academic excellence which has served as the school’s main selling point would be unaffected by a coed student body (which is directly at odds with all available evidence). The R-MWC controversy continues to date (despite little ongoing press coverage) with student blockades, protests, alumnae revolts and threatened litigation.<br /><br />That the New York Times saw fit to treat the subject with inexcusable superficiality in its article cited in “Casting a Wider Net” demonstrates amply that “All the news that’s fit to print” is rarely fitted to print.<br /><br />Most of today’s remaining women’s colleges would agree that “casting a wider net” to include men would in fact destroy the essential identity of their schools, obliterate their uniqueness, dry up their revenues, diffuse their academic rigor and give literal meaning to that most fervent chant of the recently disenfranchised Randolph-Macon Woman’s College students and alumnae, “Better Dead Than Coed.”<br /><br />— Patrick McRee<br /><br />Hollywood, CaliforniaAshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-1157998638245979472006-09-11T11:16:00.000-07:002006-09-11T11:17:18.266-07:00So they voted yes to coeducationBut the fight isn't over yet. Anyway, wanted to share:<br /><br />Looking for news on the R-MWC Board of Trustees?<br /><br />Follow these simple instructions:<br /><br />1) Go to http://www.google.com/news<br /><br />2) Type in the word “traitors”<br /><br />3) Hit enterAshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-1157488455280733202006-09-05T13:21:00.000-07:002006-09-05T13:34:15.303-07:00Am I old yet?Yeah so, sorry for not updating. I'm on a new vow to update this regularly again. Place your bets now on how long that will last. Answers on a postcard please.<br /><br />Have this new job. Started as a temp and applied for a real position a week later, another week and I'm on the state's payroll in social services again, but in the IT dept. IT nerd = me. I guess. I'm not really doing the IT stuff, I'm doing purchasing, contracts, requisitions, inventory and property control. But I work with the IT nerds, and I have to admit - I like IT nerdom. It enthralls me. That is my dirty little secret for the month. Stay tuned...<br /><br />Lately I've been taking a tour of doctor's offices.. not really, but I feel like I have with all of my appointments I've had to go to. My body acts like it is pregnant, every symptom that sent me to the doctor last year when I found out we were pregnant with Toby; however my body is telling every test (even blood tests) that I am not. Add to that, a very disturbing high pain in my right side that would lead me to believe would be an ovarian cyst, but it takes 3 different doctors, having blood taken 3 times and having to pee in a multitude of cups, before getting an appointment for an ultrasound to determine what the heck is going on. The ultrasound is tomorrow, the latest doctor I have seen today is stumped as to what is wrong with me. Maybe I'm just fat. Maybe I'm just old. Maybe I'm old and fat. Yeah... old and fat. That's what my gp in England would have said. It was his diagnosis for everything, "You're just fat." Thanks Doc, I had no clue. So what are you thinkin', I need to lose 10-12 lbs and all is cured? (those who really know me might enjoy the sarcasm there... I hope)<br /><br />And now for your favorite subject - the baby. Toby is crawling, pulling up, "singing", yelling, saying "ah ah ah ah ah babababababa duh duh duh duh da da da da da babababa ah ah ah ah ", usually while banging on something. He loves pots and pans but got bored with them fast. He enjoys more finding a cord and playing with it, "petting" the kitty (which consists of me saying over and over "No Grab, pet... No grab, pet... No grab, pet..." and the kitty being more patient than... well he's just being patient which is unkitty-like. I'd love to chat more about the Tobester who is now 9 months, but it's time to go. More later, I promise! In the meantime recent pics are: <a href="http://www.dropshots.com/adspencer">www.dropshots.com/adspencer</a>.Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-1150737621261048242006-06-19T10:14:00.000-07:002006-06-19T10:20:21.293-07:00Gainfully EmployedJust a little update - my temp $8 an hour job was the foot in the door I needed. Two weeks later and I'm on day one of a higher paying, with benefits, permanent job with these people. Granted it's still in the same agency as my last job down here, but different division. It's good though that I can just walk down the street during lunch and have lunch w/the girls from my old office. I did miss them and their good goss. By my birthday in Sept we'll all be in the same building, we move in August and they do on my birthday, so that'll be fun! <br /><br />While I was pregnant I was sure I'd want to be a stay at home mom. After having Toby I thought I did then as well... 6 months later and I was dying to get out of the house and back to work. I do miss him but I don't envy my husband's job of taking care of him and the house and our pacifier business while I get rest at work. I get to have lunch, take my time and go to the bathroom when I need to, and talk to real adults about non baby stuff in non baby speak.<br /><br />And the best part - I'm getting out of the house! And I have a reason to not wear pajamas all day. <br /><br />I also really do appreciate my time with Toby more. I don't see it as a chore anymore. Phew. <br /><br />The fun stuff is over on his blog, or here <a href="http://www.dropshots.com/adspencer">www.dropshots.com/adspencer</a>Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-1149859689020258232006-06-09T06:22:00.000-07:002006-06-09T06:28:09.040-07:00Hurricane Prep<p>To ex-Louisianans, present Louisianans, and future Louisianans:<br />Louisiana Hurricane Season Notes<br /><br />Today is the start of hurricane season. In the coming months, you're<br />going to turn on the TV and see a weather person pointing to some radar<br />blob out in the Gulf of Mexico and making two basic meteorological<br />points:<br />(1) There is no need to panic.<br />(2) We could all be killed.<br /><br />Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Louisiana. If you're<br />new to the area, you're probably wondering what you need to do to<br />prepare for the possibility that we'll get hit by "the big one."<br />Based on our experiences, we recommend that you follow this simple<br />three-step hurricane preparedness plan:<br /><br /><span style="font-family:lucida grande;">STEP 1. Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at<br />least</span> three days.<br />STEP 2. Put these supplies into your car.<br />STEP 3. Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Halloween.<br /><br />Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this<br />sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here in Louisiana.<br />We'll<br />start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness<br />items:<br /><br />HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE:<br /><br />If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance. Fortunately, this<br />insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic<br />requirements:<br />(1) It is reasonably well-built, and (2) It is located in Nebraska.<br /><br />Unfortunately, if your home is located in South Louisiana, or any other<br />area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies<br />would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they<br />might be required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they<br />got into the insurance business in the first place.<br /><br />So you'll have to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will<br />charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of<br />your house. At any moment, this company can drop you like used dental<br />floss.<br /><br />Since Hurricane George, I have had an estimated 27 different<br />home-insurance companies. This week, I'm covered by the Bob and Big Stan<br />Insurance Company, under a policy which states that, in addition to my<br />premium, Bob and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to my kidneys.<br /><br />SHUTTERS:<br /><br />Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the<br />doors, and -- if it's a major hurricane -- all the toilets. There are<br />several types of shutters, with advantages and disadvantages:<br /><br />Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself,<br />they're cheap.<br />The disadvantage is that, because you make them yourself, they will fall<br />off.<br /><br />Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once you<br />get them all up.<br />The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands will be<br />useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December.<br /><br />Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to use,<br />and will definitely protect your house. The disadvantage is that you<br />will have to sell your house to pay for them.<br /><br />"Hurricane-proof" windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane<br />protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand<br />hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so.<br />He lives in Nebraska.<br /><br />Hurricane Proofing Your Property:<br />As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like<br />barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc. You<br />should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool (if<br />you don't have a swimming pool, you should have one built immediately).<br />Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly<br />missiles.<br />EVACUATION ROUTE:<br /><br />If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route<br />planned out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at<br />your driver's license; if it says "Louisiana," you live in a low-lying<br />area.) The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being<br />trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be<br />trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along<br />with two hundred thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not<br />be lonely.<br /><br />HURRICANE SUPPLIES:<br /><br />If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy them<br />now! Louisiana tradition requires that you wait until the last possible<br />minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with<br />strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM.<br /><br />In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies:<br /><br />-23 flashlights </p><p>-At least $167 worth of batteries that turn out, when the power goes off,<br />to be the wrong size for the flashlights. </p><p>-Bleach (No, I don't know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what the<br />bleach is for, but it's traditional, so GET some!) </p><p>-A 55-gallon drum of underarm deodorant. </p><p>-A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a<br />hurricane, but it looks cool.) </p><p>-A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (Ask anybody who went through Camille; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators.) </p><p>-$35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can<br />buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth.<br /><br />Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near,<br />it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by<br />turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers<br />stand right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally<br />important it is for everybody to stay away from the ocean.<br /><br />Good luck, and remember: It's great living in Paradise! </p>Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-1149359909433482842006-06-03T11:17:00.000-07:002006-06-03T11:38:29.450-07:00For all the naysayersSuzie Orman called and said she had to meet the people whose financial actions shocked her so much... so we got her drunk, tied her up and threw her on a Greyhound bus headed for Lake Providence, Louisiana (welfare capital of the world). I think she might have fun there.<br /><br />By the way for those keeping score:<br />Cost of gas to drive the truck to and from work a day - $7.56<br />Cost of gas to drive new car to and from work a day - $3.78<br />Cost of new tires on truck - $500<br />Estimated cost of new tires on car should we need them - $125<br />Percentage cheaper that oil changes will be on car rather than truck - 70%<br /><br />Still have something to say? Put it on a postcard so I can frame it.<br /><br />I went and took the Professional Entry Test for civil service in order to get one of the higher paying State jobs available, and passed with 30 points to spare. After applying for every job available that I could do, I went to the temp agency that placed me in the State where I was immediately hired permanently in 2003. They stuck me in a temp job, back in Social Services, but a different agency and a building 4 blocks down the street from where I used to work. It wasn't much, just sorting out a new filing system, oh the challenge. After I did what they thought would be 2 weeks of work in 2 days, the supervisors found out that I took the state PET test and passed, and almost literally jumped for joy. Apparently there is a position open in that department that they were about to start reviewing applications for, that is 2 pay scales higher than my former job in social services. They mentioned that they're already happy with me and can't wait to move me to that position and find "another temp" to do the job I was doing.<br /><br />So Monday I'm supposed to bring in my test scores and state application and we'll go from there. That's the second time I've been hired from temp agency job to permanent state job within 2 days. <br /><br />Speaking of working, I am loving it. Even the dreadfully boring filing, highlighting and sorting. It has been great to just get out of the house and feel like I am being useful in some way. I've spent so many years just evaluating my self-worth on my career, what type of work I was doing, and it has been so hard to shake that since becoming a Mother where my self-worth is loads higher and more important in THAT position. So being back at work has helped me progress tremendously in the happy-brain department. I went to see the psychiatrist yesterday and we're going to start trying to phase out one of the medicines in a few weeks, over about 2 months I think. Then I will only take it intermittently, like the time of month my hormones make my brain go nuts. <br /><br />Also I have been making leaps and bounds with my new christian counselor. She has helped me so much more in the past 5 sessions than all of my previous 3 years of therapy combined. She's wonderful. And helping me realize that I'm not so bad myself, eh?<br /><br />Anyway, I'm still not keeping this as a regular blog but had to share the news with someone. Continue to check out Toby's blog for new pictures and videos! <a href="http://tobiaspeter.blogspot.com">http://tobiaspeter.blogspot.com</a>Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-1148600296545910892006-05-25T16:36:00.000-07:002006-05-25T16:38:16.610-07:00Something a little more funI might take a little hiatus and simply post the fun stuff, on Toby's new blog <a href="http://tobiaspeter.blogspot.com/">http://tobiaspeter.blogspot.com/</a>. So forget this place for a while and hang out there. It will be more fun, I promise.Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-1148347093589201932006-05-22T18:17:00.000-07:002006-05-22T18:18:13.603-07:00Daddy they're going to win by THIS much!Vote for Pete and Re-Pete in Shutterfly's photo contest - <a title="View entry" href="http://photocontest.shutterfly.com/action/photocontest/vote?entry=128764">http://photocontest.shutterfly.com/action/photocontest/vote?entry=128764</a>Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-1148088109109438342006-05-19T18:21:00.000-07:002006-05-19T18:23:05.216-07:00New Pictures and Videos of The Boss<a href="http://www.dropshots.com/day.php?userid=113650&cdate=20060519&ctime=100744">http://www.dropshots.com/day.php?userid=113650&cdate=20060519&ctime=100744</a><br /><br />Enjoy! Trying to practice sitting up on our own!Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-1147402713836844262006-05-11T19:53:00.000-07:002006-05-11T19:58:33.890-07:00Need a Smile?Toby has plenty to give!!<br /> <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/maytoby6.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/maytoby6.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/maytoby10.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/maytoby10.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/maytoby9.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/maytoby9.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/maytoby7.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/maytoby7.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/maytoby8.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/maytoby8.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/maytoby3.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/maytoby3.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/maytoby2.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/maytoby2.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/fivemonthtoby2.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/fivemonthtoby2.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/maytoby4.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/maytoby4.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/maytoby1.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/maytoby1.jpg" border="0" /></a>Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-1147374453827843742006-05-11T12:05:00.000-07:002006-05-11T12:07:33.850-07:00It never endsWell the update on the family is that everyone is doing pretty well, Toby is doing great and Daddy is doing great. I'm just going downhill and am having a very hard time right now, but I am getting help and have wonderful support from my DH and lots of smiles from my son to help me. The parents... their take on this is to completely avoid the subject and ignore this "mental state" - which I have to say - DOES NOT HELP. Just a hug and sincere, "How are you doing?" from Mom can cure a lot, even when you're 27.Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-1146355420325920862006-04-29T16:57:00.000-07:002006-04-29T17:03:40.346-07:00New Playmate, New Toys!<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/IMG_0527.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/IMG_0527.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />The new baby must have - The Winkel, you can chew on it, never let go of it, try to drop it, but easily pick it up again before you even realize what your fingers are doing!<br />And it makes you look really cute doing it!<br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/IMG_0528.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/IMG_0528.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/IMG_0533.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/IMG_0533.jpg" border="0" /></a> All of his new toys - Freddie the Firefly crinkly thing, a giggleball puppy, and the Winkel<br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/IMG_0518.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/IMG_0518.jpg" border="0" /></a>Toby's first Playdate with 5 month old Carter in Mississippi - 2 weeks older yet much, much smaller. Apparently people in Mississippi are blind, when we took them both to the mall, we were getting asked, "Are they twins?". Um, yeah, different mommies, different sized babies, suuuure twins!<br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/IMG_0520.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/IMG_0520.jpg" border="0" /></a>Toby kept trying to lean over and reach for the spoon before it could get to Carter's mouth - he thought those sweet potatoes were his for sure!Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-1145410184893263142006-04-18T18:24:00.000-07:002006-04-18T18:29:44.903-07:00New Baby StuffI love new baby stuff, this is the new convertible car seat we got today because Toby is outgrowing his current one at a very fast rate and it's not safe with him so big in it anymore. We were able to get the top of the line safest carseat on the market, which retails for $219, for the price of one of the cheapest not-so-safe carseats, $139! I love a great deal. This is Toby trying it out so Mummy had a new excuse to take pictures of him -<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Image hosting by Photobucket" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/Toby/IMG_0517.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />This is the recline position, doesn't he look comfy?!!?<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Image hosting by Photobucket" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/Toby/IMG_0516.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Normal position, he loves to sit up!<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Image hosting by Photobucket" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/Toby/IMG_0515.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Checkin' the seat out.Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-1145303418488840102006-04-17T09:35:00.000-07:002006-04-17T12:50:18.566-07:00PPD - ContinuedI guess I should just jump right back into it since I left y'all hanging last night. Actually I'm pretty sure I left nobody hanging, I take so long to update this I doubt anybody tries to read it anymore.<br /><br />Let's start w/the good - I had reached some sort of plateau w/my ppd and was doing wonderfully. Mommy euphoria had set in and I couldn't get enough of my snuggle bunny Toby. I was so much better that DH kept asking when I could get off the meds - b/c he doesn't understand that it's the meds keeping me on the plateau and going off them would be completely horrible. I had no anxious moments and could only focus on the positive - mostly our adorable son and this fun, fun time of him laughing, being ticklish, discovering his world w/his hands, and little milestones such as learning to twist himself around in his exersaucer or support himself on his feet (with someone holding him steady just in case). I couldn't believe how much better things had gotten and when I looked back on the first three months it is as if I wasn't even there. The entire time is a fog to me, as if it was simply someone's nightmare and I was merely a character. I feel as though I missed out on Toby's first few months of life and I find myself going back to pictures of his birth and those first three months trying to recreate the memories in a happy way. The best feelings are when I look at pictures of his birthday and I can feel all this sudden love fill me all over and I finally know just how that cheesy expression "heart swells with pride" really fits. This little boy is my whole world and I am ever so grateful for that.<br /><br />It was about two weeks ago when I started to feel the depression again. It began with a simply moody day, moody enough for DH to point out and ask why I was so moody. I had no idea and guessed it was probably just hormones during that time of the month maybe. Later that day I started to be anxious about taking care of Toby, and became less and less confident in my mommy skills. Then the straw broke the camel's back when a small criticism on my mommying from DH sent me over the edge. I had never cut myself before, but never have I felt the urge so strongly then. I tried to just cry it out first, behind Toby while he sat and watched Sesame Street in his rocker chair. My cries were more like sobs and then sobbing hiccups that turned into a bad headache. DH had no clue. He was in and out of the house as he was working to help with some of the Katrina damage (the company said they'd pay him to do some of it since they can't find enough workers). <br /><br />I knew I was spiraling out of control but it was like those times when I was about to go off a diet and although I was fully aware, I couldn't stop myself. I saw the road ahead and barrelled through it. Sometimes that is the only way I can get by, barrelling through. I put Toby down in the crib and turned on his mobile, I didn't want him to notice anything wrong w/mummy, and the thought of that just made everything worse. "Toby has a psycho mummy" kept going through my head and it acted like an anvil pushing down harder on my self-loathing. It soon turned into "Toby has a psycho horrible so not worth being here mummy and deserves better". <br /><br />I did what I have done before and didn't really have plans of going any further - because this was the furthest I have ever gone - I tried to pry a razor blade free of my pink disposable razor with intentions to make small cuts on my leg in order to feel and see this horrible pain I was feeling inside. I had never gotten further than attempting to get the blade free and last time I was at the psychiatrist's office and told her so - she said that she didn't think I'd go any further than that anyway. Well this time I did. Imagine my surprise when the blade popped free - I actually got excited and quickly searched the floor for the blade that popped out. As soon as I found it I sat down thinking, "Now what?" This was new territory for me, not a place I had expected to be yet I felt such the desire to be there. I put the razor to the inside of my thigh on my right leg and started to cut... but it wouldn't cut. I saw no blood even though I definitely felt pain and got very frustrated. It made me try to cut even more, harder and longer each time, but no blood. I finally gave up, put the razor aside in the drawer in the bathroom for future use and tried to lie down to calm myself down. My rational self was slowly returning...<br /><br />But the irrational me wasn't ready to give up. I immediately remembered those syringes I had leftover from having to give myself insulin when I was pregnant and had gestational diabetes. I searched the house for the box of syringes but for some reason they were missing - was someone thinking ahead and one step ahead of me? I looked in a drawer where I used to keep a fresh morning syringe for that morning insulin right when I woke up and voila - I found a clean, unused syringe still in its package. <br /><br />Back to the bathroom and my inner thigh, and the same thing happened. I kept cutting and cutting straight lines and nothing would show. I finally gave up, DH had walked in by then narrowly missing my attempts and I asked him to take Toby w/him to the store so I could take some of my anxiety medication and take a nap. <br /><br />It wasn't until after my nap that I realized my cutting worked and I did make bleeding marks on my leg, and finally the relief came. It was like a rise of relief I used to feel after lighting that first cigarette out of the pack. The punishment to myself, the pain I wanted to see on the outside - was visible. All was okay, and I wanted to do it again.<br /><br />I felt so ashamed of what I had done that I didn't tell anybody and tried my best to keep DH from seeing it. Finally a few days later I had the urge to reach out to him for help since I still felt like doing it again and showed my leg to him and told him that it wasn't anytime soon that I could go off my meds. <br /><br />Then I began to feel a little better. Confessing to DH made things a little more open and he knew I was a bit too fragile for simple criticisms on my parenting style. But then again a few more days later he went to New Orleans to work, spending nights there to save on gas and my anxieties and worries got the best of me again. This time the straw that broke it all was done by my mom with a simple criticism. She tried to immediately take it back and change what she had said but it was too late. That was all I needed for an excuse to cut myself again. This time I did it deeper and on my other leg. And that wasn't enough so I did it on my arm too. The arm was too painful, so I'm a bit glad about that - maybe I won't do it next time.<br /><br />In between, I did call the psychiatrist and left a message. Usually she responds within 48 hours but I haven't heard from her since. I went to my church ladies' prayer group meeting that meets every Tuesday and confessed to them so that they could pray for me, and one of the ladies set me up an appointment with a great therapist who works on a sliding scale so I wouldn't worry about how much money I'd be owing her. I see her Wednesday. <br /><br />I have had the urge to cut pretty much every hour on the hour since then. I have the urge to google search cutting and get tips from people who do it all the time. I feel like I've discovered a completely new vice and the only distraction is eating chocolate and peanut butter m&m's. I know the eating for comfort isn't going to help but honestly, it seems a tad healthier than cutting, doesn't it?<br /><br />So that's where I have been. In my own personal mommy hell full of hormones, irrational thinking pretending to be rational, and not quite in the company of people who are able to understand just how to deal with it and me. What makes it the worst I think is that I am almost 5 months postpartum. I should be better by now - yet everything I've read on the subject shows that relapses around now are common - but try to get everyone who loves you and thinks you're completely better and need to just quit the medication to understand that. <br /><br />The next few days I will be in a difficult test. Both DH and my mom are working so I will be alone with Toby. I have a sister who claims she'll help out but keeps making excuses the day of and never shows up. That doesn't help. Plus she seems to think it is the medicine making me worse - and I can't tell you just how much the frustration balloons when someone just can't understand the chemistry of it all and how and WHY you NEED the medicine to help you. I'm sure I have people just shaking their head at this thinking, "yeah right, she needs to be off those meds" and I hope they never find out what might happen if I were off of them. Just trust me okay? I've been there, I am there, and this is my crazy brain we're talking about here. Mmmkay?<br /><br />So far I'm halfway into day 1 of Toby by myself since this all happened, and it has been okay I suppose. The hardest part is night when DH comes home and is too exhausted to take Toby and give me a good break and he goes straight to bed. It makes me feel as though I'm the only one here to take care of them and the pressure from that is insane, it makes me insane. It has made me resent his job and sometimes him even though he is probably the most wonderful husband and daddy in the world (and anyone who knows him can attest to that). <br /><br />Anyway, I'll put a stop to this post for now. I hope that in a few days I can post that things are better, and that I'm back on the happy plateau, because that's what Toby deserves - a normal happy Mummy.Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-1145249989828164122006-04-16T19:46:00.000-07:002006-04-16T21:59:49.896-07:00Postpartum Depression - The NeverEnding StoryYeah, so I still have it. Bad. So bad that I've been too ashamed to tell anybody, but I have visible scars now on my arm and legs so I can't hide it anymore.<br /><br />Not sure how to break into this. So... yes, I'm a crazy woman. And it kills me, KILLS me that someday Toby might know that his mummy is crazy, certifiably crazy. That thought alone just makes me worse and me crazier - I just can't win.<br /><br />And I hate to do a to be continued, but it is late and since Toby is asleep I better go to sleep too. I'll come back and finish this tomorrow hopefully if I have time - here's the summary - I have relapsed pretty bad and started cutting myself, DH is hardly home b/c of working in New Orleans so I have to suck it up and make sure Toby is taken care of and it just beats me up more - BUT I start to see a new therapist (who I know from church retreats) on Wednesday and plan to go visit my relatives in Mississippi this weekend which usually makes me happy.<br /><br />Goodnight and I'll fill you in on the miserable details later. OH, by the way we're not sick anymore - well not physically, just my mental illness!Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-1144708117643285212006-04-10T15:27:00.000-07:002006-04-10T15:28:37.656-07:00He Has Toes!<p>Here are a few recent pics of The Boss! He discovered he has toes, but isn't too interested in them quite yet.</p><br /><p> <a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Image hosting by Photobucket" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/Toby/IMG_0509.jpg" border="0" /></a></p><p> <a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Image hosting by Photobucket" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/Toby/IMG_0508.jpg" border="0" /></a></p><p>What ARE these things?</p><p> <a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Image hosting by Photobucket" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/Toby/IMG_0506.jpg" border="0" /></a></p>That Tickles!<br /><p> <a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Image hosting by Photobucket" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/Toby/IMG_0504.jpg" border="0" /></a></p>NOT ready to go to bed but in his comfy pajamas ready to celebrate the new baseball season!<br /><p> <a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Image hosting by Photobucket" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/Toby/IMG_0503.jpg" border="0" /></a></p><br /><p> <a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Image hosting by Photobucket" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/Toby/IMG_0501.jpg" border="0" /></a></p><br /><p>and napping in the pack n play today</p><br /><p> <a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Image hosting by Photobucket" src="http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/spencer_uk/Toby/IMG_0510.jpg" border="0" /></a></p>Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-1143659490290324252006-03-29T10:54:00.000-08:002006-03-29T11:11:30.360-08:00Still have pneumonia but look who's still cute<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/CM32805%20012.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/CM32805%20012.jpg" border="0" /></a> Tuckered out after the photo shoot with his "hug me" best friend.<br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/CM32805%20006.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/CM32805%20006.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Hangin' out with dad supporting their team!<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/CM32805%20007.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/CM32805%20007.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/CM32805%20011.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/CM32805%20011.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />I love this little guy (and the big one too).<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/CM32805%20010.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/CM32805%20010.jpg" border="0" /></a>Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6350765.post-1142626247631372832006-03-17T12:05:00.000-08:002006-03-17T12:10:47.646-08:00Happy St. Patrick's Day<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/IMG_0397.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/IMG_0397.jpg" border="0" /></a> Well he's not Irish but looks cute in green anyway!<br /><br />Hope y'all are well, I'm sick and taking care of Toby by myself today, I hope he doesn't get it. So far he has been nothing but a happy talkative baby - which is great but would be better if he were a happy talkative baby that NAPPED! Enjoy the pictures<br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/IMG_0396.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/IMG_0396.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/IMG_0398.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/IMG_0398.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/IMG_0395.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/IMG_0395.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/IMG_0392.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/IMG_0392.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/1600/IMG_0386.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1260/330/320/IMG_0386.jpg" border="0" /></a>Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11033048544666963884noreply@blogger.com