Friday, March 26, 2004

The New Plan

With no more weddings to attend, I decided that I needed a new goal in losing weight. Of course I'd like to be healthy, able to fit in airplane seats, fancy high heeled shoes, and booths at restaurants; but, really that's not going to stop me from picking up a chocolate bar.

So I've been thinking about what might convince me to stick to a diet. Skinny girls flirting with my husband b/c of his English accent is one reason, but he's so darn trustworthy it isn't reason enough. Skinny girls looking me up and down with disdain in their faces isn't either. I just know they'll grow up into wrinkled old hags with pregnancy stretch marks and no personality to match. Fat doesn't wrinkle hun, so you can take that pointy nose and stretch your upper lip over your head and point to the nearest tanning salon that will give you a nice skin cancerous flambe'.

I've found the new plan. Clothes. I always complain about the difficult task of finding affordable, nice looking and fashionable clothes for a woman of my size, and I've decided that instead of fighting for the fat woman, I'm going to make it my goal to be able to shop with the skinny women. It's not that huge of a goal I don't think. I noticed yesterday that Old Navy carries a size 20, which is probably the fat woman's size 18. I like Old Navy, and they're cheap (I live by their outlet store). So, my first goal now is to be able to wear an Old Navy size 20 sometime this summer, July 4th would be a good date. And by my birthday (September 8th!), I'd like to be able to wear their size 18. Is that so horrible a goal? Is that too far-reaching? Let me know.