Slush has a blog
She's hungry, she's drunk, she's a law student with an almost-PhD in economics, but most of all, she's one of my best friends. And you can read her thoughts here.
I think I have to thank everybody I know for not making me a bridesmaid in their weddings. I don't have the bridesmaid body, I don't even have the bridal guest body, and I would ruin any and all wedding photos if I had to wear a sleeveless or off the shoulder dress making me look like a pregnant elephant in chiffon and bows. So to all brides and brides of the future - thanks. Even more thanks to those who did the obligatory asking, pretending to think of me as a bridesmaid and gracefully accepting my flat out NO. I've done my bridesmaid duties, was the maid of honor, wore a forest green bow with cleavage, had a two foot high beehive hair-do, and found out that three cans of aquanet takes multiple washings to leave your hair. No more.
I'm a bit gutted though that I'm going to two weddings this summer, (one in April! eek!) and will look like the obligatory fat woman wearing the house tent, not dancing because she can't even walk in heels, and making every photo look unbalanced with seven skinnies on one side, and her on the other, and coyly walking by the cake to grab a piece as long as no one is looking. I don't want to be that fat woman, but in evaluating my progress so far, I will be her. I only have a few weeks to the April wedding, and I can't seem to find anything to wear that looks decent that isn't black or a hawaiian print. And who told the clothing designers that fat ladies love to wear huge polka-dots, horizontal stripes, and jersey knit? Why do WE get the play clothes? Give me class!
Sigh... I'm sick of it. I'm sick of my diet not working, me not working on my diet, and the lack of plan B's I could get from the mall. I might just "rent-a-skinny" and let my husband take her to the wedding.
She's hungry, she's drunk, she's a law student with an almost-PhD in economics, but most of all, she's one of my best friends. And you can read her thoughts here.
I think I have to thank everybody I know for not making me a bridesmaid in their weddings. I don't have the bridesmaid body, I don't even have the bridal guest body, and I would ruin any and all wedding photos if I had to wear a sleeveless or off the shoulder dress making me look like a pregnant elephant in chiffon and bows. So to all brides and brides of the future - thanks. Even more thanks to those who did the obligatory asking, pretending to think of me as a bridesmaid and gracefully accepting my flat out NO. I've done my bridesmaid duties, was the maid of honor, wore a forest green bow with cleavage, had a two foot high beehive hair-do, and found out that three cans of aquanet takes multiple washings to leave your hair. No more.
I'm a bit gutted though that I'm going to two weddings this summer, (one in April! eek!) and will look like the obligatory fat woman wearing the house tent, not dancing because she can't even walk in heels, and making every photo look unbalanced with seven skinnies on one side, and her on the other, and coyly walking by the cake to grab a piece as long as no one is looking. I don't want to be that fat woman, but in evaluating my progress so far, I will be her. I only have a few weeks to the April wedding, and I can't seem to find anything to wear that looks decent that isn't black or a hawaiian print. And who told the clothing designers that fat ladies love to wear huge polka-dots, horizontal stripes, and jersey knit? Why do WE get the play clothes? Give me class!
Sigh... I'm sick of it. I'm sick of my diet not working, me not working on my diet, and the lack of plan B's I could get from the mall. I might just "rent-a-skinny" and let my husband take her to the wedding.
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