Am I this nerdy?

I thought I hated my college during sophomore and senior years. I loved it junior year b/c they sent me to England where I partied hard, studied a little bit and met my husband...but when I returned to the suffocating small town and closed-in campus for senior year after my world travels, I couldn't stand it. I thought that alumni who returned to work at the college were plain nuts. Who would want to do that, and spend their lives in that tiny town again? We were studying to be world movers and shakers, even the latest alumni bulletin had an article about how they're training to "change the world."

And I'm a secretary. With bad shoes and a giant paperclip collection. I've even managed to become fascinated with office products, such as the white out tape that comes on dry and looks neat when applied. I can't change the world with wite-out and a paperclip.

I realized today just how desperate I am to get out of this job, and this state, when I saw myself apply for a job as a financial aid counselor at my alma mater. I'm actually asking to live in that small Virginia town again and face the professors that I swore I would never have to speak to after graduation. I can see them nodding their heads and smirking now, "Oh that's Ashley, I knew she'd never make it. She was in that class with Julie, the girl who has a PhD in Rhetorical Criticism and who writes for the New Republic." I'm actually asking to go back and face those monsters I had left behind and run from 3 years ago.

A week ago I was tearing my hair out thinking how awful it would be to return to my college for reunion next year...and now I'm applying for a job there.

I've gotta think positive. They won't even glance twice at my resume.