True Friends Oath

Are you tired of all those sissy, mushy "friendship" poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship!

When you are sad ... I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the SOB who made you sad.

When you are blue ... I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile ... I'll know you finally had sex.

When you are scared ... I will rag you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried ... I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

When you are confused ... I will use little words to explain.

When you are sick ..... stay away from me until you're well again. I don't want whatever you have.

When you fall ... I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.