The Down and Dirty of Real Life
After the first blissful week of living together, DH and I have been hit on the head with a very large This-is-the-real-world boulder - and it hurts!
Mostly, I'm just talking about money. We were given a lot of it in order to move, but that money has been spent. Our own money has been spent, and we've yet to receive proper paychecks in order to spend. The main thing on my mind is being able to pay our rent on the 20th. Our landlord was so nice to allow us to pay only half of the deposit for January, as long as we paid the other half for Feb (due Jan 20). At first I was worried that we might not be able to pay the deposit part...now I'm almost certain we will not be able to pay the rent at all. And it's thanks to my wonderful employer Virginia Tech. They have slacked off so much that I still have yet to receive ANY paycheck from them in the past month, and the $500 that I'm due for relocation expenses probably won't arrive for another month b/c they keep sending the forms back asking for more signatures.
On top of that, our anti-depressant prescriptions are up, and my health insurance still hasn't registered me so that I may reap the benefits of cheap prescriptions. We cannot just go a week or so without these anti-ds, as they tend to make your brain a little psychotically depressed if you suddenly stop taking them. I have been rationing myself, taking them only every other day to save some time, only to result in panic attacks and hour long sobbing breakdowns each day when I return home from work. God Bless my Darling Husband who is there to hold me and allow me to sob and snot up his shirt without guilt. The most common conversation in the evening is, "Why are you crying?" "I don't know, ". I never know when it will hit, don't know exactly what I'm crying about, but if forces me to cry even more over crying over nothing, gives me a terrible headache, and I'm almost out of kleenex. An hour later I am better, sitting on the couch with DH, supper in our laps as we watch my favorite Vicar of Dibley dvds and Father Ted. Soon, once we figure out the code to watch a UK dvd in our American-sod-the-rest-of-the-world DVD player, we will do this to shows of Little Britain thanks to a wonderful sis-in-law. Actually, soon I hope to be able to afford to refill my prescription in order to stop these attacks and breakdowns full stop.
Our kitties are the only ones unaffected by this all, except for the fact that we need to buy more kitty litter and cannot afford it until.. well... March. They are increasingly playful every night, and greet me at the door every evening with loving meows and claws at my legs asking me to pick them up and cuddle my nose into their fur. They are also very talented at giving our bathroom the wonderful aroma of digested kitty food if you know what I mean, and using our bathroom rug to cover the kitty box instead of the litter itself. Such gifted kitties they are.
Today is Peter's Birthday. He finally reached the same age as me, so I hope he'll stop calling me his "old lady." We're both at work, it is a bank holiday for me but I'm working today in order to take some time off later this year, and Pete receives no days off in his line of work. Tonight we're probably going to sit in front of more Father Ted or Dibley or Coupling with our george foreman grilled burgers and oven chips. Pete with a beer and me with a Cherry Coke. Ahhh, the good life. Although I may have painted a depressing picture of our situation, we're still very happy indeed. We have each other, our kitties, and our faith. That's all we really need, the rest is just details. I hate to sum it up in an 80s song, but it came on the radio this morning and we both chimed in, as if singing to each other. So here's our song of the day, Living on a Prayer, by Bon Jovi:
Tommy used to work on the docks
union's been on strike
He's down on his luck - It's tough so tough.
Gina works the diner all day working for her man
She brings home her pay for love for love.
She says: We've got to hold on to what we've got
'Cause it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not.
We've got each other and that's a lot for love -
We'll give it a shot.
We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it I swear
- livin' on a prayer.
Tommy got his six string in hock.
Now he's holding in what he used to make it talk -
So tough it's tough.
Gina dreams of running away when she cries in the night
Tommy whispers: Baby it's okay someday.
We've got to hold on to what we've got . . .
We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer . . .
We've got to hold on ready or not
You live for the fight when it's all that you've got.
We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer . . .
We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer . . .
We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer
Mostly, I'm just talking about money. We were given a lot of it in order to move, but that money has been spent. Our own money has been spent, and we've yet to receive proper paychecks in order to spend. The main thing on my mind is being able to pay our rent on the 20th. Our landlord was so nice to allow us to pay only half of the deposit for January, as long as we paid the other half for Feb (due Jan 20). At first I was worried that we might not be able to pay the deposit part...now I'm almost certain we will not be able to pay the rent at all. And it's thanks to my wonderful employer Virginia Tech. They have slacked off so much that I still have yet to receive ANY paycheck from them in the past month, and the $500 that I'm due for relocation expenses probably won't arrive for another month b/c they keep sending the forms back asking for more signatures.
On top of that, our anti-depressant prescriptions are up, and my health insurance still hasn't registered me so that I may reap the benefits of cheap prescriptions. We cannot just go a week or so without these anti-ds, as they tend to make your brain a little psychotically depressed if you suddenly stop taking them. I have been rationing myself, taking them only every other day to save some time, only to result in panic attacks and hour long sobbing breakdowns each day when I return home from work. God Bless my Darling Husband who is there to hold me and allow me to sob and snot up his shirt without guilt. The most common conversation in the evening is, "Why are you crying?" "I don't know, ". I never know when it will hit, don't know exactly what I'm crying about, but if forces me to cry even more over crying over nothing, gives me a terrible headache, and I'm almost out of kleenex. An hour later I am better, sitting on the couch with DH, supper in our laps as we watch my favorite Vicar of Dibley dvds and Father Ted. Soon, once we figure out the code to watch a UK dvd in our American-sod-the-rest-of-the-world DVD player, we will do this to shows of Little Britain thanks to a wonderful sis-in-law. Actually, soon I hope to be able to afford to refill my prescription in order to stop these attacks and breakdowns full stop.
Our kitties are the only ones unaffected by this all, except for the fact that we need to buy more kitty litter and cannot afford it until.. well... March. They are increasingly playful every night, and greet me at the door every evening with loving meows and claws at my legs asking me to pick them up and cuddle my nose into their fur. They are also very talented at giving our bathroom the wonderful aroma of digested kitty food if you know what I mean, and using our bathroom rug to cover the kitty box instead of the litter itself. Such gifted kitties they are.
Today is Peter's Birthday. He finally reached the same age as me, so I hope he'll stop calling me his "old lady." We're both at work, it is a bank holiday for me but I'm working today in order to take some time off later this year, and Pete receives no days off in his line of work. Tonight we're probably going to sit in front of more Father Ted or Dibley or Coupling with our george foreman grilled burgers and oven chips. Pete with a beer and me with a Cherry Coke. Ahhh, the good life. Although I may have painted a depressing picture of our situation, we're still very happy indeed. We have each other, our kitties, and our faith. That's all we really need, the rest is just details. I hate to sum it up in an 80s song, but it came on the radio this morning and we both chimed in, as if singing to each other. So here's our song of the day, Living on a Prayer, by Bon Jovi:
Tommy used to work on the docks
union's been on strike
He's down on his luck - It's tough so tough.
Gina works the diner all day working for her man
She brings home her pay for love for love.
She says: We've got to hold on to what we've got
'Cause it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not.
We've got each other and that's a lot for love -
We'll give it a shot.
We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it I swear
- livin' on a prayer.
Tommy got his six string in hock.
Now he's holding in what he used to make it talk -
So tough it's tough.
Gina dreams of running away when she cries in the night
Tommy whispers: Baby it's okay someday.
We've got to hold on to what we've got . . .
We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer . . .
We've got to hold on ready or not
You live for the fight when it's all that you've got.
We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer . . .
We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer . . .
We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer
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