Review Day
I got my Prior Performance Review from boss today. It's good and bad, good in that she recommended me for a pay raise (a very slight one). She was very critical of me, most of it though was down to me not being trained properly enough, but she held against me that I didn't ask enough questions. I didn't know I was doing anything wrong, which is why I didn't ask questions.
What really really REALLY bothers me, is that months ago I was helping another unit with their deadlines. Boss wanted me to do something so I did, but I told her I was also helping this unit. She went to the supervisor of that unit and they said they hadn't given me anything to do for weeks. I just can't believe it. I wouldn't have lied to my boss. I remember having those stacks of attorney fee requests on my desk and working on them for ages. I just am baffled, as my boss is, because I'm telling her one thing and another supervisor who is her friend and she trusts, is telling her another. The supervisor mentioned it in a meeting (my boss wanting them not to give me the stuff anymore) and someone in that meeting said they hadn't given me the stuff for weeks. I just don't know what to do. I'm sure my boss believes this supervisor, who believes whoever told her...but I know that I would not have lied to my boss about it, and I remember that at the time I told my boss I had AFRFs to do, I had stacks of them on my desk. I just don't get it. Boss said she doesn't get it either and is just trying to ignore it because it baffles her.
Sigh. So anyway the review makes me feel like my best isn't good enough. Which means I'm just crap at this. And if I'm crap at this, then there's no way I'll succeed in a non-clerical job in another State. There's no way. I'm hopeless. Hopefiretruckinless.
She also acts like she isn't going to give me my vacation, even though I have accrued enough vacation time. This is the replacement vacation for the time I had told her I needed off before I was hired, to go to the now cancelled wedding in England. I told her about me having problems to get to work when Pete is there. It's like she thinks I am making it up so I can have two weeks. She said I couldn't just call in sick that day b/c I don't have a ride to work. Well duh, who does she think I am? Big frickin' shittin' sigh. Shit I cussed. So sorry.
I got a payraise, no idea what it will be though. Paperwork isn't done on that. So we'll see. This doesn't change my want to move to Virginia, but it does change my daydreams about it. If I can't do this job properly, then I can't do another one properly. Oh well.
I got my Prior Performance Review from boss today. It's good and bad, good in that she recommended me for a pay raise (a very slight one). She was very critical of me, most of it though was down to me not being trained properly enough, but she held against me that I didn't ask enough questions. I didn't know I was doing anything wrong, which is why I didn't ask questions.
What really really REALLY bothers me, is that months ago I was helping another unit with their deadlines. Boss wanted me to do something so I did, but I told her I was also helping this unit. She went to the supervisor of that unit and they said they hadn't given me anything to do for weeks. I just can't believe it. I wouldn't have lied to my boss. I remember having those stacks of attorney fee requests on my desk and working on them for ages. I just am baffled, as my boss is, because I'm telling her one thing and another supervisor who is her friend and she trusts, is telling her another. The supervisor mentioned it in a meeting (my boss wanting them not to give me the stuff anymore) and someone in that meeting said they hadn't given me the stuff for weeks. I just don't know what to do. I'm sure my boss believes this supervisor, who believes whoever told her...but I know that I would not have lied to my boss about it, and I remember that at the time I told my boss I had AFRFs to do, I had stacks of them on my desk. I just don't get it. Boss said she doesn't get it either and is just trying to ignore it because it baffles her.
Sigh. So anyway the review makes me feel like my best isn't good enough. Which means I'm just crap at this. And if I'm crap at this, then there's no way I'll succeed in a non-clerical job in another State. There's no way. I'm hopeless. Hopefiretruckinless.
She also acts like she isn't going to give me my vacation, even though I have accrued enough vacation time. This is the replacement vacation for the time I had told her I needed off before I was hired, to go to the now cancelled wedding in England. I told her about me having problems to get to work when Pete is there. It's like she thinks I am making it up so I can have two weeks. She said I couldn't just call in sick that day b/c I don't have a ride to work. Well duh, who does she think I am? Big frickin' shittin' sigh. Shit I cussed. So sorry.
I got a payraise, no idea what it will be though. Paperwork isn't done on that. So we'll see. This doesn't change my want to move to Virginia, but it does change my daydreams about it. If I can't do this job properly, then I can't do another one properly. Oh well.
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