News or not, here I am
I'm a little scared to write in the blog today b/c I've been so depressed. Work has been the evil little cause, and I see no solutions in the near future.
Apparently, although I am having enough trouble as it is being pregnant and having to come into work and work an 8+ hour day, seeing a therapist AND a psychiatrist for my depression during this, and having trouble w/the learning curve to my new job - the Director decided to double my job duties b/c my office-share chick is stressed.
I'm stressed too, but the difference is that I haven't expressed my stress to work people in fear of losing my job. It has only worked against me. Now I am beyond stressed. I can't finish a thing b/c I feel so overwhelmed right now, and I have 10 different people barking at me to complete separate projects YESTERDAY. In the meantime I still cannot eat and have the shakes from allowing my blood sugar to drop so much from not eating not the count the horrible nausea I get when my stomach is empty.
Do you know how awful it is to force-feed yourself a saltine? And speaking of saltines - I AM SICK AND BLOODY TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME TO EAT SALTINES TO HELP MY NAUSEA. THEY ARE BLOOMIN' PROBLEM, NOT THE FREAKIN' ANSWER!
Oh, and did I mention my temper? Yeah, that may be getting a little out of hand as well.
It hasn't helped that I overheard DH tell one of his family members that he is sick and tired of having to do everything. I try to help around the house, but it is really less possible than one may imagine in my condition. I apologize over and over to DH and try not to request him to do anything - except the kitty box b/c I'm not allowed to touch the kitty litter and the smell makes me nauseous after a cat has freshly crappd in there... and he smiles and says it's no problem and give me a kiss.
So, I have some issues to talk about with DH. We had also agreed on things like the possibility of moving closer to my family where everything is cheaper and we will be able to afford a family much easier - at least for the first few years when a good free neighborhood school system doesn't matter, then consider either moving back here or to England then - and he seemed happy about it. Overheard him telling a family member - he's not so happy about it.
To all the DHs out there - be honest with your pregnant wives, or the lies will come back to haunt you when your wives' hormone levels are at the highest, which is much worse than lying at the time to appease your wife - Trust me.
We've solved the Playstation2 problem, and at the moment I don't have to sell it. I have bigger fish to fry anyway -
This is the scariest part of my pregnancy, and I must warn you, it's horrendous -
Ready?
Like, really, ready?
Okay, here goes...
THERE IS UNEATEN CHOCOLATE IN OUR HOUSE THAT I DON'T EVEN WANT.
Good chocolate, like british kit-kats, boxes of Mint chocolate covered Oreo cookies, homemade brownies that DH made, and Magic Shell with ICE CREAM!
I want none of it. No appetite for it whatsoever. I hear my Mum-in-law thinking how lovely that is, but I am scared to death about it. This isn't me, and this certainly isn't what I thought would be the pregnant me! I eat chocolate, I live on chocolate, I use the seratonin-inducing chocolate to be happy... and I can't eat it! Don't want it, don't even want to look at it. What's a woman to do???
This is so damn frustrating. I am STARVING, and have the shakes from low blood sugar. All I have in front of me is a peanut butter sandwich DH made for me b/c this morning I couldn't think about food when he was making my lunch. Now, the smell of peanut butter (Note - my second favorite food next to chocolate, normally) makes me sick. I've got to eat, and there's nothing appetizing in sight. I'm frustrated.
Someone send a cure, quick. I'll trade you my useless birth control pills.
Apparently, although I am having enough trouble as it is being pregnant and having to come into work and work an 8+ hour day, seeing a therapist AND a psychiatrist for my depression during this, and having trouble w/the learning curve to my new job - the Director decided to double my job duties b/c my office-share chick is stressed.
I'm stressed too, but the difference is that I haven't expressed my stress to work people in fear of losing my job. It has only worked against me. Now I am beyond stressed. I can't finish a thing b/c I feel so overwhelmed right now, and I have 10 different people barking at me to complete separate projects YESTERDAY. In the meantime I still cannot eat and have the shakes from allowing my blood sugar to drop so much from not eating not the count the horrible nausea I get when my stomach is empty.
Do you know how awful it is to force-feed yourself a saltine? And speaking of saltines - I AM SICK AND BLOODY TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME TO EAT SALTINES TO HELP MY NAUSEA. THEY ARE BLOOMIN' PROBLEM, NOT THE FREAKIN' ANSWER!
Oh, and did I mention my temper? Yeah, that may be getting a little out of hand as well.
It hasn't helped that I overheard DH tell one of his family members that he is sick and tired of having to do everything. I try to help around the house, but it is really less possible than one may imagine in my condition. I apologize over and over to DH and try not to request him to do anything - except the kitty box b/c I'm not allowed to touch the kitty litter and the smell makes me nauseous after a cat has freshly crappd in there... and he smiles and says it's no problem and give me a kiss.
So, I have some issues to talk about with DH. We had also agreed on things like the possibility of moving closer to my family where everything is cheaper and we will be able to afford a family much easier - at least for the first few years when a good free neighborhood school system doesn't matter, then consider either moving back here or to England then - and he seemed happy about it. Overheard him telling a family member - he's not so happy about it.
To all the DHs out there - be honest with your pregnant wives, or the lies will come back to haunt you when your wives' hormone levels are at the highest, which is much worse than lying at the time to appease your wife - Trust me.
We've solved the Playstation2 problem, and at the moment I don't have to sell it. I have bigger fish to fry anyway -
This is the scariest part of my pregnancy, and I must warn you, it's horrendous -
Ready?
Like, really, ready?
Okay, here goes...
THERE IS UNEATEN CHOCOLATE IN OUR HOUSE THAT I DON'T EVEN WANT.
Good chocolate, like british kit-kats, boxes of Mint chocolate covered Oreo cookies, homemade brownies that DH made, and Magic Shell with ICE CREAM!
I want none of it. No appetite for it whatsoever. I hear my Mum-in-law thinking how lovely that is, but I am scared to death about it. This isn't me, and this certainly isn't what I thought would be the pregnant me! I eat chocolate, I live on chocolate, I use the seratonin-inducing chocolate to be happy... and I can't eat it! Don't want it, don't even want to look at it. What's a woman to do???
This is so damn frustrating. I am STARVING, and have the shakes from low blood sugar. All I have in front of me is a peanut butter sandwich DH made for me b/c this morning I couldn't think about food when he was making my lunch. Now, the smell of peanut butter (Note - my second favorite food next to chocolate, normally) makes me sick. I've got to eat, and there's nothing appetizing in sight. I'm frustrated.
Someone send a cure, quick. I'll trade you my useless birth control pills.
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