Memorial Day Weekend

- BBQ Ribs cookoff

- Jello Shots

- Fun with crayons with hubby (get out of the gutter, we were being kids again! sheesh!)

- Hubby's quick consumption of a 12 pack of Michelob beer

- the boredom of being a designated driver

- the loneliness of being the ONLY designated driver

- mosquito bites

- sleeping in until noon - woohoo!

That about sums it up. Next time I'll make hubby the DD so I can enjoy more jello shots and 'worm in the bucket' drinks. It was fun playing with hubby's hangover today though.

Ugh, work tomorrow. Why?

Why he'll never get a playstation

Darling Dearest Hubby has found a website that will allow him to play Gameboy Advance games on the computer. Since then he has been a complete zombie, not studying for his insurance licensing exam, doing the laundry, or even going to bed at a decent hour that will get him up in the morning in time to take me to work. It is a true test on me about my anger, patience and well, to just keep from over-nagging.

I'm about to crack. Soon it will happen. He needs to study to take the test to work this job to make us some money. I can't live with my parents forever.

And he wonders why I will never get him a Playstation 2, Xbox or the like. My husband is a zombie.

And another thing

Was watching Dave Chappelle's show last night with hubby. They had a skit that emulates a commercial for a sleeping pill. It was a black couple and the man complained of sleep, the wife brought out a bottle that said "Ribs" and the man ate the "Ribs" and promptly went to sleep. Hubby and I laughed b/c ribs do that to us too. We love ribs, especially hubby, my dad is the bbq king. It was hilarious.

Chapelle talks about it and says, "I wonder what it would've been if it were white people, turkey?"

Come on Dave, white people eat ribs too. You're funny but you grate on my nerves sometimes. Do yankee white people not eat ribs? Is that what I'm missing? We eat greens and cornbread too. Is it just a louisiana thing?

It was funny, but dayum. Don't get on my nerves.

Evangelists criticizing Evangelists

I don't get it. Jimmy Swaggart in his radio show was criticizing Rick Warren's "The Purpose Driven Life," saying that it was cult-ish and converting too many teenagers and not teaching the bible.

That just chaps my hide. Jimmy Swaggart's church IS a cult. Can he really say anything? And what's wrong with converting teenagers? Isn't that a good thing? And by the way, had he actually read the book, he'd see that it quotes the bible all over the place and not just one version, but many, b/c there are a ton of bible versions out there and if you just stick to one, you might be missing something.

It's as frustrating as the people who criticized "The Passion" movie when they hadn't even SEEN it. Make sure you know the source before you criticize it people. Don't listen to others, it'll make you look like a jackass.

I un-heart evangelists. Ugh!

I just wanted to share this.

Tonight is 2 for 1 daiquiris at the daiquiri drive-thru, Hubby and I usually make a date of it. We'll see what happens.

I'm finally a part of the office

One of my jobs as assistant to the Division Director (ie glorified and underpaid secretary) is to take each month's phone bill as I receive it from the DSS higher ups, draw lines separating each phone number, write names of whose phone number it is, and circulate among the 25 staff. The staff are supposed to initial next to their phone numbers to say that none of those calls were personal calls. It normally takes two months for my 25 staff to pass the phone bill and initial it.

The DSS higher ups didn't like this and got onto me. As if I could hurry them up somehow. So when the phone bill for March (yeah so it takes a month or so for the higher ups to give it to me) arrived on my desk, I decided I'd try something different. I sent an email:

The phone bill for March is now out in circulation. Please help me by circulating this one quickly.

If we are able to get this phone bill initialed and circulated back to me by Friday, May 21, I will bring breakfast for everyone.

Thanks and good luck!

Ashley

Then the first email came back:

Ashley,

You sure you want to start something with offering us food? Lord knows we can eat! Good luck!


Well this scared me a little bit. I was thinking a box of pastries and some bananas would be good for a breakfast for this bunch. Boy was I wrong. These people eat a Cracker Barrel type of breakfast. Biscuits, sausage, eggs, gravy, the whole deal. I didn't know what I got myself into. I just hoped that the phone bill wouldn't be circulated in time. The deadline I gave them was two weeks. There's no way they could do that in two weeks what normally takes them two months.

ONE week later, the phone bill is sitting on my desk. Every single person had signed, initialed, crossed the t's and dotted the i's. It was perfect. The higher ups would love it. I was shaking in my boots. This meant I'd HAVE to bring breakfast.

So I sent out another email, thanking everyone and telling them of the day I could bring breakfast (I checked everybody's calendars and found a day where nobody was busy in the morning). And I waited for folks to tell me they couldn't make it.

None of that happened. I got tons of emails back, but most of it was people offering to bring things. Biscuits, sausages, gravy, fruit, juice, plates, grits...by yesterday afternoon when I had sent out the email to remind everyone that breakfast would be this morning, I couldn't think of anything to bring because everybody else was bringing something. I did bring one thing anyway, I made them my guinea pigs and made a hashbrown casserole, which I'm told was a wonderful thing. Phew.

Boy it was a spread. And they were right. They could EAT. We have a few straggling biscuits left and some fruit and maybe half a donut. I didn't bring my lunch today b/c I figured I could have some leftover casserole. It's all gone. These people are like hamsters. You see food bigger than their heads, turn your back and next thing you know the food is gone - and their cheeks seem slightly mishapen and bigger.

Phew. It's over. They liked it, they liked me, and now instead of just being the new secretary of the meanest boss in town, I'm a part of their team.

And now I want a hamster.

Question Time

Yeah so I'm stealing this from other people's blogs. Bernie is a smarty and I love her, so of course I'm going to steal her ideas.

Ask me a question, any question, and I'll tell you no lies.

How my parents encourage me

(dripping with sarcasm)
"You'd make a GREAT housewife! No need to make enough money to hire a maid with you around!"

I received that after vaccuuming the house for my Dad. We have ten cats living with us. He waited two days from when I vaccuumed to mop the floor, which was the reason he wanted me to vaccuum. Ten cats, two days. They can do some damage.

He's usually not so bad about it. My mother, on the other hand, can be very anal with cleaning - we've nicknamed her Martha.

Two weeks ago I showed her around the house where Pete and I were housesitting. This was a normal couple whose towels in their bathroom were folded normally. Not anally, normally, like people should fold their towels that nobody looks at. As soon as she saw their towels (I showed her the linen closet b/c I was proud that normal people weren't anal about towel folding) she said with a snicker, "Oh you folded their towels?"

Yeah, they make me feel just precious. They love me, really.

The Jesus Freak

When did I become the Jesus Freak? That's what I'm wondering. I think my friends are scared of me now b/c I've become so gung ho about being a christian. I hate that. I hate being left out of naughty conversations, good fun, and good parties, because someone is afraid I will be offended or offend someone else and ruin their good time.

I didn't become a christian so that I could judge people and walk around saying that I'm better than you because I have an eternity of pleasure ahead of me once I die. I became a christian because I feel so much love and for once I thought I should return it. It didn't teach me to judge people, that's not in our "now you're a christian, put that beer down" manual. Oh, and yes we drink. I'm not baptist, for shit's sake. We have wine at every service. What do you think Episcopal is? It's from the Church of England, and part of the Anglican Communion. Don't even start to tell me that English people don't drink.

I don't want to push something on you that makes you feel bad an unworthy as a person. I certainly don't want you to think that I judge the way you live your life now. That's not what this is about. It's about love. To be a good christian, I'm supposed to love you and pray that you have a fulfilled life, even when you call me names and hurt me. It's about forgiving. For the first time in eight years, I have finally been able to forgive my rapist. That's a miracle right there folks. Some higher power gave me the peace and wisdom to be able to say, I forgive you. Then I prayed for him to have a fulfilled life. Do you think I could've done that without some sort of higher power's help?

When I talk about Christianity, I'm not trying to let you know that you're going to hell and that you live a forsaken life. It's not about you. Simple as that. It's not about me either. It's that I have finally found the secret to life. I found peace to forgive and live my stressful life with a smile. I found out how to live without worry. My truck desperately needs new tires and it has an expired license plate that will cost over $700 to fix now that I've waited so long. I'm not even the least bit worried about it, when before I would have been consumed with worry. I know it'll be taken care of. That's what God told me when I opened the bible and read, "Do not worry." Simple. Don't worry. Okay, you worry for me.

The reason I talk about this stuff is that I feel like I've found something so much fun and so special and I want to share it with you. I want you to know just why my life has changed, and why I've been smiling so much lately. It's like the new tv show or toy that you want to tell everyone about. I'm not judging you, I just want to share this with you because I love you and want you to have the best too.

I'm not the Jesus Freak that is going to witness to you in the Wal-Mart parking lot. I'm someone who sees you and thinks, "I love them so much, I wish I could give them everything in the world." And then I think of the one thing that I actually can give you. That's all. So don't feel bad, don't hold yourself back from telling me about your life. I'm not judging, and I'm not going to stop communication with you b/c you went on a bender or found a few lovers to occupy your time. It's not about you, and it's not about me.

Puzzledonkey spots

I'm seeing spots, and they're all donkey shaped. Stuck on 1.19. Seemed to breeze on up to it, with a few hairs pulled out naturally. Why do I put myself in this pain? It's such a short livelihood of amusement when I get one right, b/c there's another puzzle, unsolvable and staring right back at me. But I just. can't. stop.

Our family was picked to do the Nielsen Ratings this week. We have to pencil in everytime the tv is on and what show it is showing. It's such hard work I don't think any of us will actually watch tv this week. That'll show them. An easy $2.00 made. Mwhahahahaha.

Tomorrow is my only day to sleep in but I have to wake up at 6am to feed and walk the dogs b/c others are either working or playing golf. They eat a special kind of prepared food (all raw meat and bones) that takes time to prepare, and they have to be walked one at a time or they'll never get their business done. Everytime I go outside with them I come back in covered in mosquito bites. I hate louisiana summers. I spend late February to November covering myself in Benedryl itch cream that doesn't really work. It's just a matter of time before I get West Nile. Just wait.

The last Alpha course meeting is Sunday. It's the end to an exhausting chapter of disorganized ministry. I'm not looking forward to it, because I have to plan the follow-up with no help or support from other ministry leaders. Not looking forward to it.

It drives me mad but I can't stop

Puzzledonkey 3 is out. I thought I'd never be stuck in this again, but as soon as someone told me and I solved the first puzzle, I was sucked in.

I finished PD1, but was burnt out on PD2 around the 4th round. I even lost track of my fellow PD friends who would brainstorm with me on puzzles. Then it came back.

Stuck on 1.16. So hurry up, get there and help me out. Oar-in, Orin somebody?

I love Slush

Today is an ode to Slush day. My friend Heather, who shared many Papa Johns pizzas and bottles of jack daniels with me in college, is the funniest and wittiest person on earth. Seriously. I love her humor. It's also cool that she doesn't mind the nickname I gave her. Slush. Sorta like Lush and Slut but...both. It fits her so well. Not that she's a slut, but give her the opportunity and I'd bet she'd break some skinny b's hearts.

I just love her. Always there to brighten my day with a rant about someone or advice such as, "If you get married, make sure Pete's best man will sleep with me." and "Don't have kids, when will you ever have time for sex?" and "Don't diet, just wait until we're rich and can afford surgery."

Love. Her.

I especially love her blog today, ranting about drivers. Too true. She's my wingman. Slush, this Bud's for you.

OW!

I love our Standard Poodles, really. But do they have to take a running leap and have so much energy that they move the couch across the room when they land on it?

And do they have to land ON you when you're sitting on that couch? I have a bruised rib thanks to Buddy landing on me. Serves me right for sitting on their landing pad.

Bruised ribs hurt your entire body. Can't breathe without pain. What I'm really hating is that I already missed a day of work this week b/c of sinus stuff. I should've come in then so I could take today off. I hurt!

What's wrong with change?

Being the PA to the division director, I get the fun duty of being in charge of all the office equipment. People were complaining that the fax machine wouldn't send off large documents b/c it said it was out of memory. What it did was send through all the pages and store into memory and then dial the number and send them. The transmission time took forever but nobody noticed b/c they'd happily see their pages go through quickly. Immediate gratification.

I tried to clear all of the memory but there is some flaw that won't let it clear 37% of it, so it still has problems sending large documents. So I changed it. I set it up to not store every document into memory and do as normal fax machines do. Dial the number, send first page, send second page, etc. It takes the same amount of time, but for the person sending the fax, their pages take longer to go through the fax. This just isn't good for these people.

Ever since I programmed it to do this, every single person who has tried to fax something came to me and said the fax machine was broken. I explained the change and that it just feeds the paper slower but it is taking the exact amount of time. Nobody has patience for it though.

C came into my office with a 12 page fax, "You send this, because I'm sick of dealing with that rusty ol' fax. It just ain't workin' for me." I put the pages in, dialed the number and it sends the pages through. I asked her, "Is that what you wanted it to do?"

"Well, yes." Her head was down.

Why can't people accept change? Why can't they have patience and wait? Why does it always have to be instant gratification. We work with child protection and foster kids, none of that is instant gratification, believe me. Usually there is never any sort of gratification. Why are they depending on the fax machine for their happiness?

Even though these people are as old as my parents, I feel like I'm the office baby-sitter.

To Answer Your Questions

Pete's favorite toy as a child: Mask

Pete's favorite teacher in school: His Geography teacher, Mr. Wigham. He said that he made geography cool and encouraged him.

The game we played that asked these questions was given to the couple whose house we house-sat by their marriage therapist, it's called LoveTalks for Couples and goes with a book.

I'm home from work ill with a cold. My sister Cresta is visiting from Jackson, Mississippi. She's the one who was in the hospital with the rare SJS syndrome if any of you remember. How is she? She's great! Well, except for her metal hip causing problems, the SJS is healed completely. She's a prayer miracle. She has to watch what she puts in her body from now on, can't take most painkillers or medications now, which is hard b/c her metal hip causes a lot of pain, but she's healthy and happy for it.

Off to pester the sister and try not to cough on her.

I want to change something

The title? The template? The content? What should I change?!??!!?

I can't NOT share this:

Found in the local newspaper for Baton Rouge - The Advocate in the classifieds:

"PIT BULLS- Top Bloodline. Boudreaux, Niggerina, Outlaw. $375. 225-279-1253."

Um.. are you wondering too?

I'm scared of coffee

Even though I love coffee, it scares me. I have to prepare before I drink a cup, making sure there is a bathroom nearby, as coffee seems to be a system cleanser for me, if you will. But that's not why it scares me.

It's hot! I realize that it should be hot and it is made with hot water near boiling. What I don't understand is how some people can take a sip of coffee immediately after it being poured or served. Are they crazy?!? Don't they know it's burning their tongue?!? Is my tongue over-sensitive? Does it burn too easily? I can't drink tea or coffee until it cools down a little. Otherwise I'll have a blistery burnt tongue for the rest of the day while I suck in ice cubes.

I forgot about coffee being hot the other day. A co-worker made a pot in their office and poured me a cup. As we talked about the day, everyone took a sip, so I did as well, forgetting my coffee fear. OW! When it touches your tongue and reminds you, it's too late. You can't spit it out or you'll burn the rest of your mouth, you have to swallow it in order to get rid of it the quickest way. I spent the rest of the day eating ice cubes and sulking in my little office, at how coffee only burns my tongue.

Am I weird?

Actually, I should rephrase that. Does coffee/tea burn your tongue too?

My chinese fortune cookie says:

"Happy news is on its way."

Bring it.

No Jesus Talk this time I promise

Yesterday was so nice. We finally had a break from the rain in the afternoon, and after work went swimming with the Golden Retriever, Maxie. She loves to swim, but it scares me sometimes b/c she's huffing and puffing and she can't just touch bottom and get a rest. She seemed to be all right though, got a lot of exercise. We threw sticks into the pool for her to retrieve and she'd go get them, swim around you for a while, then go sit on the steps to catch her breath and want you to throw her another one. So easy to please this dog.

The other nice thing was that DH cooked for me, the second night in a row. I helped by preparing a few things, but he did the cooking. It was wonderful. One thing that I've realized that we just don't get while living at our parents, is real uninterrupted time to just talk. For the past two nights we have been able to just sit and talk while eating dinner, at the table, no interruptions, no dogs wanting to go out (the Golden is much easier to care for than the Standard Poodles), no parents asking for something to be immediately done, and no phone ringing. The couple who owns the house had left a "couples" game, a book of questions to ask each other and discuss. It seemed geeky at first but I really enjoy it. It's simple questions such as "Name three aspects of your dream home and its location," and "What was your favorite toy as a child?" and "Who was your favorite teacher as a child?". There's still a lot of things I don't know about my husband, so it was nice to sit and listen for a while, and to just enjoy each other's company.

It's going to be difficult to go back to living with parents and demanding poodles on Sunday. (Note: they're not demanding b/c they're poodles, it's b/c there are two of them and they're partners in crime so they can't be left alone for a second, and there isn't a fenced in backyard so they have to be walked all the time).

This is a looooooong one

A little story about how this guy and I became to be friends:

I have tell y'all about my new friend. I met him a while ago but didn't really give him the benefit of the doubt and didn't trust him with a friendship for a long time. It wasn't until recently that I've been realizing just how good this friend is to me, and like most people when we encounter something new and exciting, I just want to share it with you.

It was C. who introduced him to me a while back when I was younger. He was with us in Mississippi and I completely ignored him, but didn't mind when he bought me lunch or made my parents smile. C. was totally in love with him and I thought b/c of that, she was the biggest goober I've ever met. I still let her be my friend but whenever she talked about him, I'd smile, nod my head and throw away any words she said about him. I thought it was just some sort of new crush that brainwashes people when they think they love somebody. I thought he could brainwash anybody.

I met him again when I came back from England. He had been over there too, but didn't hang out in my circle of friends. Pete and I just didn't hang with those people. We'd rather drink, smoke substances and waste our money on useless possessions; that wasn't his kind of crowd. When I came back from England the second time, married, unemployed and rejected by the country where my husband lived, I was a wreck. I needed a good friend, and I had nobody nearby. I saw him again in Baton Rouge, and thought, "Dayum he sure does like to travel." I had a few conversations with him but was scared. I didn't know him too well, and the fact that he made everybody who knew him fall in love with him kinda scared me. I already had one love in my life, I didn't need two! I backed off and let my stress take over without any friends to help ease the burden. I had a nervous breakdown, injuring myself and got to the point where my Mother couldn't ignore it anymore. She made me go to the doc and get some drugs. Something to help ease my mind. I did, and it helped, but I still felt empty inside. I needed some friends, my husband, and some way to take the stress off.

I took yoga, and enjoyed it. I did it every morning for fifteen minutes and every night for twenty. I was feeling better about myself and my husband was going to come visit soon. I thought all of my problems were going to end. I still didn't have a job, but that was the least of my problems. Apparently the job thing wasn't so little though. My parents were out of jobs and they needed money to pay the mortgage. Pete and I were in so much debt ourselves that we couldn't make it either. We didn't know what to do. And I still didn't have any friends in Baton Rouge, none that I felt close to.

Then he called me. He said that he knew I was having trouble, and that he'd like to meet Pete. He asked me to take him to his house over the weekend and he would help me out. I didn't believe it, but it was free and something to do, so on Sunday (because Saturday is made for sleeping all day) we went. He introduced me to a few people, and right away I felt relieved. One was named Carol. She worked at LSU helping find jobs for graduates. Another was a lawyer who knew of some immigration lawyers that could help us. Then there was him of course, who said he'd help me find peace. A strange thing if you ask me for some stranger to say, but the conversation was so weird that I decided to just go with it and see what happened.

"Give me your burdens, and I will give you rest."

"Huh? Give you my what?!? I dont need rest! I slept all day yesterday, what are you talking about? I need a job! I need money! I need my husband to be able to stay here!" I was alarmed at the audacity of his claims.

"Don't worry, I will worry for you." Well, okay. I said I'd let him worry for me, but how do you do that? How is it possible to just stop worrying and give it to someone else? You can't trust them to make sure your bills will get paid, put food on the table and make sure you and your parents won't be homeless. Nobody can take care of you but you! That was my motto and I was stickin' to it... but I said okay anyway. If he thought that he could help me by agreeing to give him my worries, then I gave them to him. I told him about every bill I had, every worry I ever felt since the day I was born, everytime I cried about missing Pete, and about every time I felt like a failure when my bank account went in the red. I told him everything. And it didn't just stop there. Pete and I went back home and enjoyed our vacation. He left and I was alone, lost and broken again. But I remembered his words, and thought I'd give it a go again. I starting calling him every night and have long conversations with him. I'd tell him about all of my worries, how much I missed Pete, that I wished something could guarantee Pete's safety over there where I couldn't reach him, and that I didn't want my parents to be homeless b/c they were supporting me. He listened, he listened hard and he didn't say much. He let me rant and rave and cry and shout to him and he just absorbed it all in. When I was too tired to think about it anymore, I'd go to bed. And I slept. I slept peacefully, and after a while I began to believe that maybe he DID take my worries from me.

About a week later I got a call for a temporary job working with the government elections. The company that provided the voting machines needed locals to help with tech support. The temp agency didn't have many people with my kind of experience and they needed me. Now. They paid $15 an hour, would that be all right? I would've worked 20 hours a day for them if they let me. I had a job, I had something to get my mind off of Pete, and I could pay my parents' mortgage! Not only that, but they sent me across the state, to my old hometown, paid for my travel and put me up in a hotel room. I had time away from my parents, time to spend with my old high school friends, and I was getting paid to be a computer nerd. It couldn't have been better. As soon as I got back to Baton Rouge and wrote the check for my parents mortgage, I called him up and thanked him. I don't know how he had anything to do with it, but I knew that I should just thank him for getting me to that point of being happy again. He didn't say "you're welcome", he just listened and smiled. He said to continue giving him my worries and I'll be okay. So I did.

A year later Pete came to the States on a visa. We could finally be a married couple again. He couldn't work yet, but I had a permanent job with an airline, my dream job. I got my own office, business cards, and a place to go in between the hours of 9 and 5 for five days a week. I was extremely happy. I started paying off my bills that have been accumulating for the past year. I was able to buy Pete presents and take him out to dinner. We went to Florida with my family and spent a week on the beach. All seemed okay. Or so I thought. I lost my job because they couldn't afford me anymore, Pete was getting antsy about being bored in a new country with no friends and nothing to do, my dog got run over, and my dad had a stroke. I was lost again. I was about to lose it and injure myself once again, but he called me just in the nick of time.

"Why don't you come over Wednesday night? I'm having some friends over and I'm providing supper. Bring your husband."

A dinner party with new people who could also be potential friends? "You're on," I said. I couldn't pass up free food, and Pete couldn't pass up the opportunity to meet new people. We went, and these new people were lovely. They loved him too, and I could see it in their eyes and their words. What was it that charmed over these people to such a degree? I wondered why I hadn't been charmed like that. I always treated him like a shelf friend. I put him on a shelf when I didn't want to be bothered with communicating with him, and took him off when I needed something. These people didn't do that. They were true friends, and I could see that they received a true friendship in return. I wanted that. I craved it. I'm an attention-seeker, and crave any type of love. I wanted his love. So I sought it.

I started being a true friend to him again. I vowed never to put him on the shelf anymore. Pete fell for him too. No, not in that way, but he was charmed by his personality and giving and loving attitude. I asked Pete why, and he said, "Why not?" True. Why not? So I did. I loved with all my heart and I trusted him with my worries again. I told him when I was happy and told him when I was sad, and it immediately started paying off. He cheered me up, helped me out and picked me up when I was down. He gave Pete the confidence to start playing guitar in front of people, and helped me find another permanent job helping out with Foster children. He fast became our best friend, and we see him everyday now. His help didn't stop there though.

Just in the past two weeks I have realized just how amazing he really is. Pete and I have been down again, financially. We share a truck that needs tires so badly that if we drive it on a wet road, the back wheels fishtail with every curve. The license tag expired two months ago and will cost $675.00 to renew. Pete lost his job and although I filed bankruptcy, creditors are starting sue me and ask for more money. I've been overwhelmed with worry, then I remember my friend. I called him again and told him about it. I told him everything, even the things I've been ashamed of, and things that I thought would make him hate me. But he didn't. He said that he loves me and will do anything it takes to help me as long as I ask him. "All you have to do is ask," he says to me, all the time. So I asked. And I've had this incredible peace from it too. I don't have the money to fix any of these things, I'm still driving the expired death trap, and I haven't begun to think about the consequences of being sued, but I'm not worried in the least. I know that he'll help me, because that's what he does best. I asked, so he has to help me now. And it's already working.

A couple let us housesit for them to get away from my parents. They have a Golden Retriever who puts a smile on our face daily, and likes to go swimming with us in their pool. They left one of their cars while we were out of town so that we can drive that. They also left a check for $300 to pay for the insurance class Pete needs in order to start this new job. Another couple gave us $200 cash to pay for gas to get Pete to this class in New Orleans, once they found out that he had to miss one day b/c we couldn't afford the gas. They're also donating ties and nice clothes for him to wear when he does start working. And it's all because of my friend. He introduced me to these people, and asked them to help me, so they did. They love him so much that they treat Pete and I like their family, which we are. All of his friends are a family. He has so much love to give everyone, that we're all a family but without the drama and heartache. It's wonderful. So wonderful that I wanted to share him with you. I just can't tell you how much I feel loved just by knowing him now. I can't describe the peace I have, despite all of the problems I'm facing at this point. All I can tell you is that his name is Jesus, and he wants to be your friend too. All you have to do is ask.

The Real World Sucketh

With Gas at $1.85 a gallon right now at the cheapest watered down gas station, it's impossible to live. We couldn't afford for DH to get to work this morning. We had just enough gas for me to get to work and him to go back to the house. We do have another car we could use, but I think it's tank is near empty. Plus it was torrential downpours and flash flooding this morning, no way were we gonna drive someone else's car in that for the first time. We had to change our route on the way also b/c streets were already flooded. At least the truck's tires keep it high off the ground. Someone from church called yesterday and asked if we needed any money to cover expenses for his new job. I turned him down but I wish I had thought of gas.

*Warning Jesus Talk next* -
The Lord provides, that's the truth. I hope DH can get the gas money from church person today. We were also worried about how I'd get to work Thurs and Fri b/c DH will have to be in New Orleans from 8-5 for licensing training. We arrived at the house that we're sitting yesterday afternoon and they had left keys to their car with a note to use it if needed. It's like they read my mind. First they offer money to pay for his training, then offer us a place to live to get away from parents and actually be on our own, they offer their food and order us to eat all of it, then they offer us their car while they're out of town. Thank you Jesus for Loyd and Jo and Mike (possible gas money source).

What I've learned while house-sitting:

1. Golden Retrievers like to take showers with you.

2. Golden Retrievers like to wake you up at 4:30am by either sitting entirely on top of you, or licking your face.

3. Golden Retrievers like to run in the rain and come inside and rub all over you.

4. I love Golden Retreivers.

House-sitting

DH and I are going to house-sit tonight up until the end of the week for a couple from our church. They have a huge house and swimming pool, and all I want to do is play w/their Golden Retriever Maxie. It's weird to call her Maxie though b/c I wanna say Maxi-pad.

Back at the parents' house where we actually live, there are two Standard Poodles driving us crazy. I love them, but one is just coming into heat and the other has to howl and do the poodle mating call everytime she leaves his sight (like at 5am when my dad is walking her). I've been trying to convince my parents to get her fixed, b/c there are so many reasons not to breed her that I don't want to get into unless you have a knowledge of reputable breeding and Poodle health, but they're not listening to me. I'm seeing a tragedy occur right before my eyes. All b/c my dad wants her to have puppies. Everything the books and experts say, my parents are going against. It's frustrating. And I'm sick of Buddy howling at 5am.

We went to the couple's house that we're going to housesit last night and as they were showing us around and giving us the key DH turned to me and said, "we can be a normal married couple for a few days!".

You got that right. I'm grateful for what my parents are doing by allowing us to stay with them, but it's depressing to be this old, married for two years, and only having one single room as your own space as a couple.

I can't wait to get "home" tonight, play w/MaxiPad and cook my DH supper in a kitchen that doesn't have my mother the critic in it.

Three questions:

1. Am I scaring y'all with the Jesus talk?

2. Is this blog template annoying? Should I change it again?

3. I want to rename the blog as I'm not losing anything but my mind. Any ideas?

I'm trading my sorrows,
I'm trading my shame,
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord!

Okay, a little off the wall I suppose, but I've not only been on a church retreat this weekend, DH and I also went to visit two other churches - very singy and raise your hands in praise types of churches where we got to clap and dance and feel damn good about it. We have a lot of blessings in our lives right now and no one can make us feel bad about being grateful for them.

So, I'm back. It was a great weekend, very emotional for us and others. Also fun when some folks decided to make an impromptu bonfire and everyone sat around and told stories about their families and also released a lot of anxieties about them and their problems. Our priest, who wasn't supposed to make it in time for the retreat b/c of bad flight scheduling with the Navy's people (he was away at military training, he's a Navy Chaplain as well), showed up at midnight-ish and scared us all with a booming voice behind us "you all should be in bed!"

I also learned a lot about patience when dealing with people who wish to ignore how to do things correctly. Since I've been to this kind of retreat before, and am one of the leaders on this program, I offered my advice on how things should go. They ignored me and after they messed up, would go back to how I and DH advised. Oh well. When you're the youngest in a group of leaders, you'll get stepped on.

Having said that it was still a relaxing weekend. DH had some trouble within, and spent time in nature shouting at God to work it out. That's right folks, you can mad at Him too, He doesn't mind, as long as you're talking to Him. The place was beautiful, and we might go back on our own some weekend just to get away from it all. The only problem was that all rooms have VERY single twin beds. But we also had a pull out couch and slept on that instead. Cheeky people trying to keep us from abstaining I guess, but can't we even cuddle and sleep in the same bed?!?

I had a little incident with a spider as well, but an empty trashcan thrown on top of it in the bathtub works well as a spider deterrent. Little bugger couldn't get out until the cleaning people came along. Mwahahahahaha. Serves it right for sitting on the toilet when I needed to pee!

Pete starts his job tomorrow. He's going in to their office in New Orleans to sort out details and schedule his insurance class. A couple from our church $300 for the class. They also asked us to housesit for them this week, from Tuesday to Sunday. They have a swimming pool, very nice house, and a very sweet and cute and cuddly Golden Retreiver puppy (well, 10 months old ish) who likes to go swimming as well. See how we're blessed? Part of a week away from the parents with our own place, dog and swimming pool. Can't wait.

Back to work tomorrow. That's one thing I don't like about retreats, is that when you go back to work on Monday, the super-high you're on comes crashing down quickly. I don't even think I have clean drawers to wear, off to check on the laundry.

Weekend

Hubby and I are helping to lead a church retreat this weekend. It's the life-changing weekend for those in our Alpha course, we're hoping. It was this retreat that turned my husband around from Adamant Atheist to participating Christian. Fingers crossed!

It's also Mother's Day weekend and although Hubby and I had a wonderful idea on what to get her, we have yet to buy it!!!! Although we believe we're a perfect pair, it's unfair that BOTH of us are procrastinators! How will we ever get things done?

Good luck to those of you finishing exams and trying to get your mack on tonight while celebrating. And good luck to those ending another chapter in their lives as they move on. See y'all on Sunday!

I'm recognized

Today was State Employees/Civil Service Employees (same damn thing) Recognition/Appreciation Day. Boss bought us pizza for lunch, gave a speech, said a prayer and we ate and rushed back to work. Actually my phone was ringing off the hook as soon as i got a piece of pizza in my hand. Some appreciation.

Yesterday I had to take a work-related training course in another building downtown in order to learn how to enter payroll in the system for my division. I already know it, the person who did it before me taught me in about 20 minutes, and it took that long b/c we chatted about soap operas. However, I had to get the certificate and attend this 8 hour class which started out with the instructor telling us what WINDOWS were. Freakin' windows. And some people didn't understand.

Why do I wonder why Louisiana is so screwed up when the people employed to make the place hospitable can't even minimize a window?

Every break we had, all the secretaries and myself would huddle into a corner of the outside patio smoking and complaining about how horrible it is to work for the state. These are my role models folks. Scratchy voiced 50-something year old secretaries who can't get past when they had to receive policy changes by email.

I think I should carry around a little xeroxed copy of my degree with me to remind me every now and then that I won't be in this job forever. Will I?

One thing I did learn from that class was how to check everybody in my division's salary. My boss gets bank. Damn. But she worked 30 years to get that. I'm screwed. I looked at the other secretaries' salaries, the ones who had been there 20 years and some of them are even making less than me. I do have the highest sec. position in the division, but the way the pay goes is the longer you're there, the more you make. I can't take it. I have to get out.

How many applications do you think I can send to google before they put a restraining order on me?

Monday

I just wanna go back home, crawl in bed, pull the covers over my head and start the day over again.

Unrelated - Secretaries need to be able to wear tennis shoes everyday, not just Fridays. I feel like I run a marathon daily. Thank God for my Merrell Mocs that look semi-business like even though they're hiking shoes. Too bad they're falling apart now.

Note to self: If I ever get to a point where I have a secretary, require her/him to wear tennis shoes. Ban the pumps/high heels/sandals.

Duckin' Frunk

It was one drink, seriously. They just put it in two glasses b/c they made so much.

Orange Crush at Chili's. Recommended. Highly. Orange sumpn, Rum sumpn, and vanilla ice cream and ice. I thought they forgot to put the Rum in. Hubby thought they forgot to put the orange juice in. After stumbling out of the bar and waking up this morning with the hangover from hell, I think hubby was right. Just maybe.

What happened to Saturday? Why? Why can't I have my weekend? Why do I have to go do something that makes me lose the day and have it end up Monday already? I hate Mondays!!!!

So, Rum is on my shit list now. I enjoyed it while it lasted. Those days of Malibu and Pineapple, and pina colada daquiris at the daquiri world drive thru on 2 for 1 Tuesdays. But dayum. I didn't ask for this headache. And I feel sorry for anyone who's gonna use the bathroom today. Thank God for Oust and moist butt wipes.

Seriously, it was just one drink. Not having a gall bladder sucks.